Twelve Days of Comfort and Joy
by S-Bumblebee
Summary: A year after the events of Destroyer, John and Shayera eventually reconcile...but things aren't quite the same. Over the course of the next twelve days, can they repair their relationship or are things going to end before they start? **Completed**
1. Invitations

**AN/ I've had this story in the works now since about mid-October because I wanted to get it done and finished to publish now...alongside the twelve days of Christmas :) It's the longest chapterised Hawkgirl and Green Lantern story I've done yet and in places it has been quite challenging but I think its turned out okay :)**

**Now with each chapter is the next line of the song 'The Twelve Days of Christmas', of course I don't own that song but also the lines are not directly related to the content of the chapters, its just a little extra something I wanted to add. **

**Aside from that as the summary says this is a story about the repairing of Shayera and John's relationship and I'd be really appreciative if you guys could let me know how well/not so well I managed it. Whether its too fast ect...**

**But anyway...I'm going to let you get on and read this, another thing is that this story will be updated daily for the next twelve days! **

**Plenty of Episode references to look out for and I'm not going to tell you which ones in this case but this is set about a year after Destroyer and particular things you will notice have been left vague, on purpose :)**

**I don't own any of the characters of course, they belong to their respective owners :)**

Twelve Days of Comfort and Joy

Chapter One

Invitations

_On the first day of Christmas my true love sent to me_

_A partridge in a pear tree._

Being excited and nervous at the same time was never a good combination as John Stewart was beginning to realise, but he really couldn't help himself. His excitement all but bursting out of him he hurried down the hallways of the Metro Tower eager to reach his destination. Finally finding himself outside a steel door he raised his fist to knock on it but just before his knuckles made contact, the door slid open. Before him stood Shayera Hol, former Hawkgirl and former Lieutenant of the Thanagarian Empire, currently she was just Shayera and she raised a dubious eyebrow at him as he stood fused, his fist still raised as it had been to knock on her door.

"Shayera!" He declared startled, lowering his hand and almost making to grab her but managing to steady his enthusiasm "I...uh...how did you sleep?"

Her eyebrow was still raised but it was decidedly more curious now. Shayera never tended to sleep well so the question irritated her slightly, all the same she didn't want to put a downer on his obviously cheerful disposition so instead she reluctantly told a small lie. She hated it but for the time being she saw little other option.

"Fine...thanks...why are you so excited?" She asked, looking him all over as she finally stepped from her room and clipped her Nth metal mace to her hip.

John was about to shrug her question off and tell her he was fine, but changed his mind as his excitement bubbled over again.

"There's something I want to ask you."

"Oh?"

They started walking and although they were close together, they weren't touching. The Green Lantern was slightly agitated that despite their recent reconciliation things were yet to return to the way they had been, but he had realised a little while ago that they wouldn't be able to have that again. So much had happened and they had both changed, but he hoped that they could get through it and find a _new_ 'them' rather than the 'them' of before.

"Well..." He began, the back of his gloved hand brushing against hers "You know what time of year it is?" Before his hand could leave hers completely he quickly snatched up her thumb with his forefinger.

Shayera noticeably pondered on the question but John's heart lifted in the meantime as she adjusted her hand, placing it within his palm and lacing her fingers over his knuckles.

"No...I don't know," She frowned still thinking as John gripped her hand "Is there some kind of Earth holiday soon?"

John suddenly realised that she kept up with Earth holidays as much now as she had three years ago...basically not at all.

"Uh...well, it's Christmas in two weeks." He explained as they turned a corner. Taking a glance at her he saw the realisation of the holiday dawn on her; he knew just by the expression in her eyes that she was remembering the same memories that he was.

Snowmen, snow angels, snowball fights and a bar brawl.

"Oh..." was all she managed, her voice abandoning her for the time being.

Lantern felt himself sighing and also felt his wonderful excitement start to diminish. Maybe it was too soon, maybe she wasn't ready, this relationship was once again new and with everything that had happened perhaps more time needed to be offered.

Shayera hadn't recognised any Christmases after the one she had shared with John, even after her return to the League. Clark had insisted one year that she should go with him to 'Ma and Pa's' for the holiday, of course she had declined his offer. Christmas had no meaning for her...not since she wasn't with John, besides; she preferred that those who did celebrate Christmas could do so. She took their monitor duties instead.

"So...what was it you wanted to ask me?" Shayera finally broke the silence; they had managed to walk a fair distance during its progress.

John looked at her thoughtfully as they neared the main hall; apparently their feet had automatically brought them there.

"I wanted to ask, if...if you'd like to spend Christmas with me?"He pushed open the large glass door and stepped outside with her "But, you don't have to...I'd understand." He assured her giving her hand a reassuring squeeze, but all the while desperately hoping that she would agree to his invitation.

She stayed quiet for a few minutes obviously thinking on the proposition, really her mind was already made up, she wanted more than anything to spend Christmas with him, but everything was so..._awkward _between them. While she thought John looked up for a moment and spotted a white flake gently floating down, when it reached his eye level he chuckled.

"Would you look at that?"

Shayera looked up but she didn't look at the first snow flake of the season, instead her eyes focused on John Stewart and the wonderful childlike grin on his face.

"I'd like to spend Christmas with you John."

He looked at her and smiled, the boyish amusement still there "That's great Shayera!" He leaned down quickly and stole a fleeting kiss that left her a little startled and rather giddy at the knees. "I've got to head up to the Watchtower, but I'll see you this evening."

Shayera raised her brow for the third time in the last twenty minutes "Why don't you just get teleported up there?" She questioned bemused.

John shrugged with the same smile "Sometimes I just feel like flying...y'know?"

Shayera grinned "Yeah...I know," She paused then and looked at him fondly "I'll see you tonight."

And with that he departed her company, giving her a little wave before disappearing from her vision in a trail of emerald light.

**An/Chapters will get longer :) Hope you liked it so far!**


	2. Sprucing Up

**AN/ Now that we're entering the Christmas theme, I just wanted to say a huge thanks to Loki's Son who helped me with some of the differences between US and UK Christmases. You might still spot a few oddities from me but I think I couldn't help some of them :D**

Twelve Days of Comfort and Joy

Chapter Two

Sprucing up

_On the second day of Christmas my true love sent to me_

_Two Turtle doves._

Under a week ago the Green Lantern, John Stewart invited Shayera Hol to spend Christmas with him. After her easy agreement which John was thankful hadn't required additional persuasion from him, he had also suggested that she stay at his apartment during the holidays. Having recently reconciled there was considerable tension between the two of them; despite both of them wanting to spend every waking minute with the other...their pasts were keeping them at a distance, and it was something that John decided needed to change.

The humble studio apartment that he lived in was fairly empty at the current time; John hadn't spent a great deal of time here of late having favoured staying at the Metro Tower near Shayera instead. That was another concept that was bothering him about them, they weren't even sharing a room together, both of them automatically saying goodnight and departing as if they were awkward teenagers. If he was honest with himself he understood the difficulties, things with Mari had been difficult for him towards the end and they had always been difficult for Shayera, not only that but there were a whole host of other complications to contend with as well. John was a thoughtful man despite what some would say and he knew that knowledge of Rex and his past hurts were causing his hesitation. He also knew Shayera well enough to know that she was caught up on the things she had done, of the hurt she had caused, it made her reluctant, she didn't want to cause anymore pain unintentionally or otherwise.

With his mind swimming with his musings, John almost didn't notice the blue beam of transport energy that announced itself in the middle of his apartment. Once the energy faded, Shayera was left behind holding a duffle bag containing the belongings she had decided to bring; in the other was her mace. When she looked up at him she offered a small smile and flicked her head slightly to knock a bang out of her eyes.

"Where should I put this?" She asked, lifting the bag slightly in gesture.

John didn't hesitate to get up and quickly grasp the bag "I'll put it in the bedroom." He said being careful not to say 'my bedroom' because he wanted her to understand that they didn't have to keep hiding from each other. Besides, the thought of cuddling up to her during the chilly nights was an all too welcome scenario.

"Okay," She said slowly as she released the bag and reluctantly gave him her mace "Is there anything you want me to do?"

Turning around, John stared at her. There was a time when she would just flop down on the couch without a thought, kicking her feet up onto the coffee table and switching on the television. Now she was standing awkwardly with a straight back and tense wings, this wasn't what he wanted...he wanted her to feel at home here, like she used to.

"No," He said shaking his head "Just make yourself at home."

Shayera still didn't move but she eventually looked away from him and dubiously made her way around the sofa, even as he watched she lowered herself slowly into the seat but didn't lean back and kept her hands clasped in her lap. Like a stranger in a stranger's home who was frightened of touching anything lest they break something.

Quietly he sighed and turned back towards his bedroom dropping the duffle bag she had brought with her by his wardrobe, and placing her mace carefully on the side unit. While he stood there he unconsciously rubbed his neck while staring out of the window, maybe he was trying too hard, maybe he was pushing her too hard. In spite of those considerations John knew that he had to do something or they would never get over the past, they'd never be able to move on and they'd be stuck in this rut for who knew how long, maybe things wouldn't work out either because destined or not it certainly wasn't a guarantee. That was what he had learned, the key thing that had brought him back to her, eased his troubled mind enough to let him accept his feelings for her. Maybe there was a future where they had a son, maybe they had a past that foretold that they belonged to one another...but there was no guarantee, only they could guarantee anything by the actions and the _choices_ they took _now_.

Making his mind up on something, John decided that they needed to do something together, bring something into the apartment that they could both have an input towards. He had just the thing.

"Hey, Shayera?" He called as he stepped out of the bedroom and into the living room; Shayera was still seated tensely on the sofa staring off into space.

"Mmm? What?" She questioned in reply as she tore herself out of her thoughts. Looking around she made eye contact with him as he approached her and took a seat beside her.

"Seeing as its Christmas and I haven't gotten a tree yet...I thought you might want to come along with me and help pick one."

"A tree?" She asked clearly bewildered "What do you need a tree for?"

He almost laughed at the confusion on her face "To decorate, you know...a Christmas tree."

"Oh..."

Even though the concept of decorating a tree seemed absurd to her she found herself agreeing. Having lived on Earth for close to eight years she knew about Christmas, but didn't have a very good grasp on all of the rituals and traditions that humans carried out. Most years she was in the Watchtower and the decorations up there had usually been sparse, the ones up there now she mostly ignored, but she knew of them and their apparent importance for this time of year.

"So where do we go to get this tree?"

* * *

><p>An hour later and they found themselves wandering along a practical forest of trees, from firs to pines to spruces, all different kinds, shapes, sizes and even colour. The area of trees was so expanse that Shayera was sure they could walk for hours and not find the edges of it, but she found she didn't mind, it was nice to just be somewhere with John without having to worry about the world being in jeopardy. The man in question was walking beside her silently, his unnatural green eyes looking at all of the different trees with a look of indecision, the variety too extensive for him to pick any one tree from the vast many. While her eyes were trained on him rather than the woodland, Shayera opened her mouth to say something but quickly closed it again, there was so much she wanted to say and ask but she couldn't decide if now was a good time, if there ever could be a good time. Instead she looked away and gently held his woollen gloved hand a little tighter in her own as her other tugged her scarf higher.<p>

"You okay?" John asked having noticed that the grip on his hand had tightened. "You're not cold are you?"

"No, I'm fine," A pause as she looked at a rather large tree and tried to gauge if it would fit in his apartment "Have you picked one yet?"

"We're supposed to be choosing one together."

Shayera looked around before pointing at one of the spruces "How about that one?"

It was what she considered a medium sized tree, just a foot taller than her and shaped like a perfect cone, but also she noted that it almost had a blue tinge to it making it stand out against the others. John looked in her gestured direction and eyed the tree thoughtfully before letting her hand go and walking over to the spruce for further investigation, their first Christmas tree together had to be perfect. While John carried out his inspection Shayera folded her arms and shifted her wings, it was just a tree, what was the big deal? She asked him as much.

"It has to be just right," He explained while doubled over and examining the base of the tree "Remember that we have to decorate it as well and it needs to be able to hold what we put on it and still look good."

Shayera merely tilted her head and absently spread her wings in order to stretch them, in doing so she contemplated him carefully. He had hardly changed. At first she thought he had, thought that she had changed him with the pain she had given him by her betrayal; she had believed that she had lost his trust amongst other things. Over the last few years apart she had seen him stiff and military like, serious and professional at all times and the playfulness she had come to realise before seemed to have been destroyed, but as she watched him now as he tried to decide if this tree was 'just right', she realised that everything she had fallen in love with was still right there.

"What do you like about this one?" John asked as he straightened up.

She let out an aggravated sigh "I don't know...I just like it."

It was then that he grinned at her broadly "Then we'll take this one, it'll make a great Christmas tree."

John rubbed his hands together as if already excited about decorating the spruce with various artefacts and trinkets that she couldn't quite see the point of.

"It's going to look great," He continued she was sure mostly to himself "You're sure you want this one?"

"Yes, John!" She exclaimed "I said I liked it." Despite her resolve she found herself laughing as he did at her outburst, but she quickly sobered as their eyes met briefly, it was enough to bring back darker thoughts to a wonderful but brief moment of ease.

"Shayera," John said her name softly and upon hearing it she wanted to curl up into a ball and hope that he couldn't see her. "I think we should talk."

Clearing her throat she asked "What about John?"

"About us...this...this awkwardness between us." When she didn't reply he continued "We're acting like strangers, Shayera...you and I both know we're far from it."

Looking up into his face she looked away again and adjusted her scarf. Soon enough she had her back to him and was focusing on the thin smattering of snow on the ground at her feet. What was she supposed to say? How could she say the things that burdened her without pushing him away all over again?

"I don't know what you want me to say..." Shayera mentioned softly while fiddling with her gloves, she never liked wearing gloves even with other people suggesting on a number of occasions that she should in order to protect her hands. Pulling one of the gloves off she looked at her palm and fingers, calluses and blisters expressed where her mace handle aggravated her skin, scars and other markings showed past injuries...she put the glove back on as John spoke behind her.

"I want you to tell me what's on your mind Shayera..."

He had gotten closer which made everything so much harder, it was easier if he was already at a distance. With him closer she would feel him move away when she said something he didn't like, she would feel the separation and she was so tired of being alone.

"I want this...so much," Her voice cracked a little as she forced the words past her burning throat and dry mouth "But I've hurt you in so many ways, I don't...deserve this, I can't hurt you again John." She paused and added softly "Not again."

John was right behind her now but not touching "Then don't," A gloved hand grasped her shoulder and turned her around, gently his woollen fingers brushed against her cold cheek reminding her of how much warmer he always seemed to be. "We've hurt each other, and...Well I don't expect us to get over it in a day." There was another pause as he took a deep breath "But I'm willing to work at this Shayera, because what we have is worth the effort."

Shayera looked up at him and into those pools of light, even though the colour was unnatural and inhuman she could see the emotion that lay behind them, his conviction in the words he had just shared with her and she knew that she was just as willing.

"I am too, John."

John nodded and gave her a smile as he moved his hands to hold her upper arms gently in a reassuring gesture "That's all I'm asking for."

* * *

><p>Back at the apartment John finally set the tree in its stand careful to fasten everything tightly to prevent the spruce from tipping over. Shayera had helped as much as she could but she had trouble getting under the tree to help with the stand, her wings a little too large to let her fit comfortably so instead she held the tree in place for John. When he eventually reappeared from beneath the tree he was covered in tiny green needles that Shayera instinctively reached out to brush off, both of them noticing her brief hesitation before she finally committed to the action and started to pick the needles off of his jumper.<p>

"So what are we decorating it with or do we have to buy those too?" Shayera asked as she deftly removed another needle from his shoulder while John pulled at one on his arm.

"I've got some decorations," He explained shaking off the rest of the needles before moving to the sofa and plopping down with a yawn "Some of them have been handed down from my Grandmother; those always go on the tree every year."

Shayera sat down beside him and lent back a little "Is that another tradition?" She asked sitting a little closer to him than she had been for a while.

A deep chuckle rumbled from him at her question "Yeah, yeah it is." Turning his head he yawned again and stretched "You ready to go to bed?" They'd had a quick meal on their way home so dinner wasn't necessary tonight as both were adequately fed.

Her expression must have shown her discomfort because John's expression fell. Even with the disappointment in his eyes she couldn't bring herself to go in there, to go where they had spent so many hours talking and laughing, as well as other things, a whole wealth of memories and a time in their lives they couldn't go back to. She also thought of Mari, how many times had Mari stayed at this apartment? How many changes might there be in there that proved he'd been with someone else for longer than she could bear to think about?

"Shayera...I...I can stay on the couch if you would be more comfortable."

She shook her head because that wasn't what she wanted; she wanted to sleep beside him. Many nights had been spent curled up in a tight ball, alone, fighting against nightmares and the demons of her past, trying to sleep on a pillow wet with her tears...all she had wanted for a long time was someone to hold her, to make her feel safe while she tried desperately to sleep. That someone in her mind had always been John, never Hro and never Carter. Despite that, Shayera just couldn't share that bed with him just now, not yet, so she made the only suggestion that came to mind.

"Is it okay if we sleep here?"

The light in his brown eyes suddenly returned and she smiled as he smiled at her "Sure, I'll get some pillows and blankets. Did you bring some pyjamas?"

"Yes," She said nodding "Thanks John."

And that night they both went to sleep curled up together on the sofa, wrapped up in blankets and wings.


	3. Deck the Halls

Twelve days of Comfort and Joy

Chapter Three

Deck the Halls

_On the third day of Christmas my true love sent to me_

_Three French Hens._

The apartment was quiet but to her there was a tiny edge in the atmosphere, she shouldn't be here. Carefully turning over so that the window was no longer her only view; Shayera lay face to face with John Stewart and furrowed her brow. In the slight twilight of almost dawn she could see that he was still asleep, snoring softly which almost brought a smile to her lips. Almost.

A very large part of her was terrified and even then right at that moment when she started to stretch out her fingers to touch him, she didn't know if she wanted to grab hold of him and never let go, or do what the frantic part of her mind urged and run. Run away before this fragile thing she had could be taken away from her again, just like it always was. Suddenly feeling panicky, Shayera started to try and sit up on the fairly narrow couch without disturbing her companion but her plan backfired when John softly said her name.

"Where are you going?"

Her heart stopped, lodging in her throat "I...I..."

She was sat up now, almost half way off the couch when John's hand touched her shoulder and she very nearly melted into him "Are you alright? Shayera if...if you're not ready for all of this-"

"I am John...I just," She shook her head before slightly leaning towards him, the panic subsiding "I'm fine."

John eyed her sceptically but slowly nodded "Had me worried there, I thought you were going to leave me to decorate the tree all by myself." It was a gentle way to ease the tension that had boiled up seemingly out of nowhere.

"I wouldn't do that." Shayera replied softly as she tentatively laid back down, shuffling closer to him and nestling herself against his body, enjoying the feel of the soft material of his shirt against her cheek.

As confident as her statement sounded, Shayera still couldn't shake the fear that was chewing at her stomach, what if she did something to ruin this? What if she hurt him again? What if –

"I'll have to get my Grandmother's decorations out of the cupboard," John mentioned against her hair "The lights should work but I've got some spare bulbs if we need them." He moved ever so slightly so that he could accommodate her better "Mean while," He started as he glanced at the clock on the wall "I think it's time for some coffee."

* * *

><p>"Where am I supposed to put this?" Shayera asked as she held a string of blue tinsel out at arm's length as if it were something dangerous or repulsive.<p>

Turning from the coil of lights John looked from her to the tinsel and back to her obviously unimpressed expression, stifling a laugh in the process.

"We'll put that on in a little while Shayera, I need to check all of the lights first."

"So..." Shayera began conversationally "Lights first, sparkly stringy stuff-"

"Tinsel."

"_Tinsel _next...then bobbles?"

"Yes," John agreed turning back to the lights and changing one of the blue bulbs out for a red.

Shayera watched him carefully slightly unsure what to do with herself, but started to grow increasingly more curious in the box sitting on the floor a few feet away. Absently she approached it and knelt down on the floor, tossing the tinsel away for the time being because she couldn't see the point of it. Opening the box Shayera peered inside, her eyes widening when she looked upon the contents inside. The box held a number of intricate decorations, some of them wrapped carefully in paper while others were exposed to her eyes. At first Shayera just stared at them in awe, they were beautiful.

It didn't take her very long to deduce that these were in fact John's Grandmother's decorations, passed down through years and still so carefully preserved, but then she would expect nothing less of John. Carefully she reached inside the box and removed the one thing on the surface that wasn't a decoration. A small black book rested in her hands, worn at the corners and slightly curled from obvious re-reading, the words 'Holy Bible' printed in gold leaf on the front cover. Shayera knew about religions just as much as she knew many other things about Earth, although it was something she found very difficult to understand having no faith of her own, but she knew that this little book was something very important and probably very dear to John. Still pulled by an unknown sense of interest and wonder, Shayera very gently opened the front cover finding an inscription inside.

'_So you can always find your way back.' _

A frown marred her features before her concentration was interrupted by something sitting down on the floor beside her.

"That belonged to my Grandma."

"I'm sorry if I..." She trailed off not sure what to say but worried that she might have done something she shouldn't have done. It was obviously a very personal artefact.

John smiled warmly at her "Its fine Shayera, I always get it out this time of year. My Grandma always said that if there should ever be a time for faith it was at Christmas."

"I still don't understand faith." Shayera whispered carefully thumbing the pages and stopping when she found an old photograph. It was a small square that barely tucked inside the pages without showing. The photo itself was discoloured but there was an elderly woman sitting with a small boy on her knee, both smiling brightly at the camera. Those same beautiful brown eyes.

John leant closer towards her so that he could see the picture over her shoulder, a smile easily finding purpose on his features.

"That was taken when I was five," He explained "I spent a lot of time with my Grandma in those days." He neglected to tell her that he practically lived with her after his parents died; spending his young years bounced between his Aunt and his Gran, but he didn't want to bring the atmosphere down, it was Christmas after all.

Shayera tilted her head to glance at him before looking back towards the photograph "You've hardly changed."

"Well except for the glasses of course." John added pointing at the large thick rimmed glasses balancing precariously on the end of his nose.

A chuckle signified Shayera's amusement before she became quiet, that almost permanent reservation that John was finding difficult to breach. An idea occurred to him so he concentrated until a green construct appeared, Shayera having seen the sudden emerald glow in her peripheral vision turned to look at him, only to end up laughing. John grinned as she continued to laugh more than he had heard in such a long time, the green glasses on his face obviously effectively breaking the manacles that had been holding down her sense of humour. It warmed him all the way to his toes to know that he could still make her laugh.

When she finally regained her bearings she looked at him fondly, just enough to make John suck in a breath from her expression, the woman he loved was still there, different somehow but there all the same. Shayera nudged him playfully in the shoulder startling his concentration and causing the ocular construct to disperse.

"You looked adorable." Shayera said, her cheeks still flush from her mirth.

"I'm glad you thought so."

"John?" She was suddenly serious again and John felt his heart sink just a little.

"Yes?"

She looked down at the bible she still held, knowing everything it signified and everything she still didn't understand about it.

"Do you have faith?"

John remembered when he returned from a deep space Lantern mission and was told of Clark, Diana's and Shayera's trip into a creature called Ichthultu's dimension. The story had been a vast tale, from attempted sacrifice to the hellish dimension itself, and finally to Grundy's death and Shayera's extermination of the self proclaimed God...and her devastation at the loss of Grundy. At the time he hadn't really understood why or even how she had managed to form a friendship with the dead man, but it was one of the instances where he had learned that there was so much more to her than what she demonstrated.

"Yes...I have faith Shayera." Perhaps not as much in what she might expect, he gave his faith to those around him, he believed in people rather than in the divine, because people needed to be believed in.

She noticeably deflated, that age old problem for her returning and forcing her to question herself "I still don't understand it...Aquaman said that you don't have to...but I still don't understand _that_ either."

John thought for a moment before he started to speak "Do you believe in me, Shayera?"

"John, I..."

He placed a finger against her lips and looked deeply into her eyes "Do you believe in us, Shayera?" He whispered it so low she could barely hear him. Slowly John removed his finger and waited.

"I believe in you," She breathlessly confessed, always believing in him. That he could conquer any challenge with or without the ring, that he was more than a man without it, that he would always be there whether she deserved him or not, but always if she needed him.

His fingers came up to loop a red lock of hair behind her ear "And I believe in you Shayera..."

Shayera smiled warmed by his words and she brushed his back with her wing to show her appreciation. Looking around Shayera peered at the tree and the lights John had started to put up.

"Shall we continue on?"

* * *

><p>Over an hour later and their first ever Christmas tree together was almost complete. John stood back to admire their handiwork, a mug of coffee in his hand and a string of red tinsel around his shoulders having absently put it there during their decorating. Shayera likewise admired the tree, fully converted to this odd human notion of decorating trees inside of their homes. All of the decorations that had been carefully stowed away had just as carefully been placed on the tree, decorations ranging from proud looking baubles to delicate glass icicles. With the lights bouncing and reflecting off of the tinsel and decorations, the tree looked stunning.<p>

There was only one thing left to do.

John put his mug of coffee down on the side unit and walked over to the box, reaching in he retrieved the last paper wrapped package. Unfurling the parcel paper an intricate yet fragile looking angel was revealed, a soft golden gown with silver wings being the main features for the eyes. Without hesitation John handed the angel to Shayera, ignoring the thoughts of irony in his mind.

Shayera looked at it bewildered "There's no more room." She stated simply as if he were out of his mind, surely the tree would topple with anything else added to it?

"She goes on the top," John gestured to the tip of the tree. Every year his Grandma had the honour of putting the angel on the tree, until he was much older and she frailer. Then he would place the angel on the tree while his Grandma remained in her armchair smiling, but he could see that it was getting harder for her every year that passed.

"Shouldn't you do it?" Shayera asked looking at him questioningly, even without knowing all of the details of his childhood or of this Christmas tradition, she knew it must be significant.

"I'd like you to do it, Shayera." John replied softly "Please."

Gnawing on her lower lip Shayera moved over to the tree sizing it up, there was no way she would be able to reach; John had been decorating the higher part of the tree during their project. John watched her tip toe as she continued to gauge the height, were she outdoors she'd simply hover but there was no room for that in here and the air currents created by her wings would tip the tree over anyway.

After a minute of seeing Shayera hesitate, John realised her quandary and approached her. Arranging them so that he had his back to the tree while Shayera faced him, John bent his knees and wrapped his arms around her. One around her waist, the other below her rear and lifted her, he could have just gotten a chair for her to stand on but decided that it wouldn't have been quite as much fun. A startled sound echoed throughout the room through Shayera's surprise at the sudden action before she laughed slightly, soon grabbing his shoulder with a hand to steady herself as she reached the other towards the peak of the tree. A few moments later and the angel was securely fitted and John was lowering her back down.

"All done." Shayera said obviously pleased with herself "It looks beautiful." She added staring up at the tree in amazement.

John however didn't look at the tree, instead he saw the twinkling lights reflected in her emerald eyes, the way the light cast a shimmering glow around her, something _he_ found beautiful. When Shayera turned from looking at the finely decorated Christmas tree she realised that John still had his arms around her, and she saw the look on his face, _that_ look. The very same one she had seen when he saw her face for the first time, the same look of wonderment that he was looking at something so enthralling...that the something was _her_.

That he could still look at her that way after everything they had been through... left her just a little breathless, like almost everything he did could.

So it was no wonder that when she reached for the tinsel around his neck that she didn't hesitate to use it to pull him down to her. With the cautiousness of a first kiss they closed their eyes and carefully made contact, lips meeting and slowly reacquainting, familiarising themselves with one another. The way his lips moved over hers, the way hers did over his, the warmth and the taste, everything deliberate, everything with purpose.

Everything moving them just another step forward as they continued to find their place with one another; the worn Holy Bible that had once belonged to John's Grandmother sat on the mantle.

'_So you can always find your way back.'_


	4. Winter Voices

Twelve Days of Comfort and Joy

Chapter Four

Winter voices

_On the fourth day of Christmas my true love sent to me_

_Four Calling Birds._

The early hours were often her worst times, neither asleep nor awake, that slight haze between consciousness and unconsciousness that regularly tricked the mind, that instant when you couldn't remember the worst times. For the first time in years when Shayera passed over the line into consciousness she didn't try to cling to the transition, she let the fleeting moment of temporary amnesia go, because she finally wasn't desperate to forget.

Opening her bleary eyes, Shayera at first saw nothing but darkness and it was a few seconds before she realised that her face was against John's shoulder, the light blocked out by the small niche of cosiness. It was...comforting, John's presence was comforting and she let herself remember the kiss they had shared last night. After that they had been like two love struck teens, sharing kisses as often as possible until they had finally just fallen asleep. Slowly Shayera carefully sat up and slid off of the couch, covering John back up with the sheets once she had stood so that he wouldn't grow cold from the slight chill in the air. For a minute or so Shayera did nothing else, the only sign of her awareness being the absent stretch of her wings as she spanned them out to their full extension before re-folding them, adjusting her shirt in the process.

Finally arriving to a decision the Thanagarian woman headed to the bathroom and preoccupied herself with getting dressed, returning some twenty minutes later kitted out in her winter coat, hat, scarf and gloves. Before she put her gloves on she grabbed a notepad and pen from the joint kitchen and scribbled a hasty note, leaving it somewhere John could find it.

Then she left.

* * *

><p>The sunrise hadn't been a disappointment, the sun had come up slowly but surely, breaking past the horizon and transforming the wintery fog into a glowing gloom as it slowly dissipated and cleared. Sitting atop a snowy hill on a felled tree, a winged woman continued to watch even though the performance she had come to witness had already passed, but she hadn't just come to view the dawning of a new day. She had come to think too.<p>

The last few days with John, tree hunting and decorating; she had loved every second of it even the off moments when things got tense and nerve wracking. However, over those very same days Shayera had felt the need to talk to him grow, there were things she needed to say and she knew now that they had to be said if they were going to be able to make something of what they had. Even if the confessions did push him away.

As she exhaled through her nose Shayera watched the curls of vapour swirl in the air in front of her face, a childish impulse grabbing her for a moment as she decided to blow the next breath from her mouth to investigate the difference. A tiny smile formed as the white mist passed and her emerald eyes returned to the landscape a head of her, it was still quiet down below in Detroit and she wondered if John was still asleep. Unconsciously her mind automatically linked to certain memories once she had secured her thoughts on John Stewart, the snow blanketing the area around her easily reminding her of the instance she had seen him snowboarding, laughing and frolicking in the snow like some tiny child. It was enough at that moment to bring a laugh from her at the memories, there were plenty more stowed away and it had been such a long time since she had allowed herself to remember them. Again her thoughts followed a natural progression, her mind asking if John himself remembered those moments, those random things they got up to when no one was looking or at least pretending that they hadn't noticed.

Just as her thoughts began to degrade into times she would rather forget, Shayera became aware of someone or something nearby, her instincts detecting another presence if non-specific for the time being. This is why she didn't so much as blink when a voice rumbled behind her, in fact, she really wanted to smile again.

"I thought I'd find you here." John remarked as he closed the distance between them, trudging in the ankle deep snow towards the woman who had her back to him.

"How did you know where to find me?" Granted she had left him a note but she had neglected to mention where _exactly_ she would be.

John had now reached the fallen tree that she was sitting on, the man in question choosing not to concern himself with asking for an invitation, but instead plopped down beside her without hesitation. He looked out across the landscape and Shayera noticed that his eyes were glowing and that he of course had probably flown here.

He let out a long breath blowing the hot vapour out of his mouth before stretching out his legs "I figured this was the best place for a sunrise," He looked at her tilting his head only slightly before looking back towards the view "I'm guessing I wasn't wrong?"

"No," Shayera said the word slowly, sensing that something was amiss "It's one of the best places to watch it." It was too late when she realised she had said more than she had intended to say, because it was easy to consider her words and make the connection that she had been here before. She had, a long time ago now. Those first few terrifying weeks of her exile when she hadn't known where she was going or where she was going to end up...staying on the outskirts of Detroit hoping that John's closeness would keep her in one functioning piece.

"Why didn't you wake me up? I could have come with you." Shayera could detect something in his voice; something that told her the time to finally have their talk was getting closer.

"I...needed some time to think." She replied honestly. Neither of them had looked at each other during the whole transferral and it made her more than a little anxious.

John leant forward resting his elbows on his thighs for a moment as he thought to himself, his companion sorely tempted to sit just a little closer but choosing for the time being not to give into the temptation.

"I thought you had left."

The statement hung in the air for a moment, just as icy as the frozen precipitation around them. Shayera's mind trying to process just what it was he meant.

"I left you a note."

"I thought you were _gone_."

And then it finally clicked, he had thought that she had left him, completely.

"John...why would you think that?" Her tone was flabbergasted and a touch insulted.

He shook his head vigorously as if he couldn't believe it either "I don't know Shayera. I just...when I realised you weren't there and, when I saw the note." He noticeably swallowed "I thought you had just gone."

For a moment neither said anything, Shayera too taken aback and John too uncomfortable, but the former Hawkgirl finally managed to get the words past her mouth even as she turned her head to frown at him.

"You don't trust me..._do you_?"

The Thanagarian received a tiny amount of satisfaction in the way John squirmed at the question, but regardless the notion hurt her, but then no one had any reason to trust her, not really.

"Shayera," Her name came out slowly, she could almost hear him roll his eyes "It's not that, its just-"

"You thought I had done a runner?" The bluntness of the remark was meant to knock him off guard as much as it was meant to conceal her emotions.

"Shayera!"

"Well its true isn't it?" Shayera suddenly snapped "You thought that everything had just gotten too much for me and I had just run away?"

"Well it wouldn't be the first time!"

In the dead silence she could hear a small animal skitter away from the loud voices and a detached part of her mind felt apologetic for disturbing the peace. Instead of shooting a cutting remark Shayera swallowed a pang in her chest, folding her arms both to keep herself warm as well as to shut John away. She remained quiet, refusing to broach the subject, she was ashamed as it was of her past actions and having them dragged up and practically thrown in her face did little to make her feel better.

"I was...scared, okay?" He paused and looked towards her and regretted the pain he had caused by his earlier remark "I know this has been hard and I thought that maybe you weren't ready, that maybe I was pushing too hard. I was afraid I had pushed you away...and I'm scared that_ I'm_ not ready either."

This time the silence was suffocating and it was a painful minute before she decided to reply.

"I've never told you that I'm sorry." Shayera spoke softly as she stared at the white fluffy snow at her feet "I've thought of so many scenarios and conversations, planned out everything right down to the letter, but I've never told you." She'd planned half of them on this very hilltop while she tried not to be found by friend or foe.

John said nothing but remained still beside her, waiting for her to continue because he knew that there was so much more that needed to be said.

"Maybe it's because I don't deserve to be forgiven for the things I did, for the lies I told, but maybe it's because I don't forgive myself for the things I've done. To the others and...to _you_." She paused here, thinking just a little more and trying to determine if she could say it "That's why, John that I'm finding this so hard. I'm waiting for you to realise that you've made a mistake; I'm waiting for you to decide that I'm not worth the trouble." She shook her head, the bobble on her cream coloured hat wobbling slightly at the motion "But I won't leave, not again...I ask that you trust that if nothing else."

"You're not a mistake, Shayera...you're certainly not mine, you'll never be a mistake to me." He couldn't believe that she had even said it, that she even thought for one second that he'd wake up tomorrow and tell her he wanted to put it all to an end. Then again he hadn't done much to convince her otherwise, that had to change "And I forgave you a long time ago, but all those things...they aren't important anymore, we are what's important. What we have is."

"What do we have John?" Her voice was small again as if she was afraid of the answer, there was an underlying fear there that he knew she would never allow herself to show, not yet anyway.

"We have _now _Shayera, we have each other and we have a chance to start over." Gently he reached out and grasped her hand "I trust you, I just...maybe I don't trust myself to know when you need to tell me something." All that time before the invasion and he had known that there was _something _wrong but he had never been able to figure it out or get it out of her...what if that happened again?

Shayera nodded slowly but squeezed his hand in return "I am sorry, John...for everything."

"I know, and I'm sorry too." He made certain that he looked into her eyes in that moment to ensure that she knew the depth of his words.

"There's one more thing," Shayera turned to him and focused on him hard, because this was the one thing she was sure would push him away, but she needed to know, needed to ask.

"What is it?"

"Will you...when you're ready,"

"Shayera." John prompted as he saw her struggling to get the words out.

"Will you tell me about Rex?" Bruce had told her very little and she wanted to know just a little more, but most of all...she wanted to hear it from John.

John remained thoughtfully quiet and Shayera started to panic.

'_I won't be destiny's puppet.'_

Finally at last, he answered her.

"I will...but not yet...but I promise that I'll tell you everything you want to know."

When she nodded he knew that she understood and he decided it was time for him to ask a question that had been burning inside of him for some time now.

"What happened to you after you left? How did you end up with Fate?"

If she was surprised by the question she didn't indicate as much, instead she focused on the town below them as the noise emanating from it began to grow slightly louder. A lot happened to her during that time in her life, she had been more than a little lost and there was a great deal of it she didn't want to think about again, much less talk about.

"I'll tell you about it sometime, but," and she smiled here "Not yet...I'm not ready to talk about it yet."

"That's fine." John looked towards the town now too before looking at the snow around them, a smile starting to grow on his features. "Do you want to make a snowman?"

The quietness as well as the ice between them suddenly broke as Shayera chuckled "A snowman?"

"Yeah."

Looking at him she smiled even brighter, finally feeling like some of the weight on her shoulders had fallen away "Why?"

It was John's turn to chuckle "Why not?"

* * *

><p>It was frustrating how something so very simple could be so very difficult. John stood proudly beside his snowman, all hand made without the assistance of his ring and glimmering softly under the mild sun light. John was just applying the finishing touches, a couple of stones for the eyes and nose and some sticks for arms. When he turned around to check on Shayera's progress he expressed poorly concealed laughter.<p>

"What's that supposed to be?"

Shayera pursed her lips and set her fists on her hips squeezing her knuckles white in an attempt to keep her hands warm, her gloves had been removed to stop them getting wet from the snow and ice.

"It's a snowman." She retorted curtly, just daring him to challenge her. Her 'Snowman' was nothing but a pile of snow that looked more like a tiny mountain than a man, but all the same...it was her tiny mountain.

He shook his head and turned back to his skilfully constructed snowman "I can just tell that it never snowed on Thanagar." When he glanced back to her he noticed that she had dropped her hands from her hips "Shayera...I shouldn't have said that."

To his surprise she let out a sound of amusement "Why not?" Moving closer to him she inspected his snowman "It never snowed there, but we did have something similar to rain. The seasons were always mild but never as cold as this." She shrugged nonchalantly "I can still talk about Thanagar, its okay."

John nodded and handed her a stone clearly gesturing for her to place the stone where the Snowman's eye ought to be. "You must miss it." After Shayera pushed the stone into the snowman's face, she took hold of John's upper arm and guided him away just enough so that she could put her arms around his waist without aggravating his snowman.

"...Sometimes." She confessed, but before John could answer her he let out an uncharacteristic yelp.

"Your hands are freezing!" He exclaimed his initial shock at something very cold against his back subsiding slightly.

Shayera looked up at him with a mischievous gleam in her eyes, her hands moving higher up inside his jacket and shirt, John's very warm back supplying her cold hands with plenty of warmth.

"What do you expect? Besides...it's not like I have a fancy ring to keep me warm." John pulled a face but Shayera giggled in response, not quite the reaction he was expecting "As useful as that ring of yours is...I like you a lot more without it." She added into his ear quietly.

Now her grin was infectious and the Green Lantern found himself smiling with her. Sometimes he considered his relationship with the ring especially during his relationship with Mari as she had often seen it as a means to go somewhere, one of the reasons he was often sour by her proclamations to go to China or Italy for dinner. It was nice to be reminded that he was something without it more so by his current company, because she was an alien that was far stronger than him and he wondered sometimes if she ever felt disappointed by her very weak in comparison _human_ who was wingless as well, but he knew he was just being insecure.

Confirmed when Shayera tiptoed and kissed his cheek.

"It's the Marine thing isn't it?" He asked with amusement in his voice.

A muffled laugh filled his ears "Oh yeah, John...the Marine thing is very hot."

"You've been hanging out with Wally again, haven't you?" It was always obvious when the founders had been spending time with Wally; words like 'Awesome' and 'Hot' as well as cheesy jokes and puns often entered their vocabulary.

Shayera still amused, smiled brightly before snuggling into his coat. "Maybe..." She said cryptically "Maybe I just have a thing for Marines."

John grinned broadly "Good to know." His fingers reached for her wings, burying amongst the layers of feathers he was slightly surprised by how much he had missed them. "Maybe I've got a thing about feathers."

"Trust me...I know you have a thing about feathers." She laughed, playfully pushing him away "Do you want to fly for a little while?" Shayera asked, flexing her wings testily.

"I'd love to."


	5. Bright and Dazzling Lights

**An/ I had a lot of fun writing this chapter :)**

Twelve Days of Comfort and Joy

Chapter Five

Bright and Dazzling lights

_On the fifth day of Christmas my true love sent to me_

_Five Gold Rings._

The aroma of freshly made hot chocolate filled the apartment as John stirred the brew, the spices he had added to the concoction instantly taking him back to his childhood. The distinctive smell reminiscent of Christmas, from cinnamon to all spice. Apparently the scent pleased his companion as well.

"What's that?" Shayera asked peeking around the doorframe of the bathroom having only recently showered and dressed.

John continued to stir and didn't answer her; this was a game they used to play. He waited for the inevitable.

"John?" When he didn't answer again he heard the bathroom door click shut as she entered the joint living room and kitchen "What are you making?"

He couldn't help himself and smiled, although making sure that Shayera couldn't see his expression.

Shayera groaned in exasperation before she tiptoed behind him trying to see over his shoulder.

"What is it?"

"Nothing."

Her hands were on his shoulders now trying to pull him out of the way "Let me see."

That was it; John couldn't hold it in anymore and just laughed freely at her over-enthused curiosity. "I told you it isn't anything."

Irritated Shayera finally dragged him out of the way and inspected the saucepan and its contents, sniffing with interest as she examined the fluid.

"Is that hot chocolate?" Shayera asked slightly unsure.

"Yes," John replied taking back the pan and continuing to stir as before "I thought I'd make some instead of coffee."

Nodding her approval Shayera sniffed absently again "It doesn't smell like ordinary hot chocolate."

"Well, it's got something a little different added to it, an old family recipe." He smiled at her, self assured as he poured two mugs of the beverage and handed her one. Silently he watched, his confidence unwavering as Shayera impressively didn't cool the hot drink first by blowing on it, instead choosing to take a gulp. If the hot liquid burnt her she made no indication.

For a few seconds afterward she stared into the liquid with an expression that John almost placed as nostalgia but thought it odd.

"Do you like it?" John asked now a little unsure that she would enjoy the traditional drink that had been handed down from his Grandmother and her Grandmother before her.

Shayera looked up and tilted her head slightly in contemplation before looking back into the mug, cradling it in both hands.

"It reminds me of a drink I used to drink when I was younger."

"On Thanagar?" John asked not hiding his surprise. At her nod his eyebrows lifted up, amazed.

"When I was a young child I often stayed with the other children in the special shelters when our parents were away, fighting." A pause as she furrowed her brow generating a ridge above her nose "Some of the other children were restless and panicky without their parents, the guardians used to make hot drinks to help them settle. This is a lot like that."

John was stunned at the odd coincidence but decided that every planet probably had a way of calming the children of their race; hot comforting drinks were especially efficient at such tasks.

"Did you stay at the shelters often?" John asked while taking a mouthful of his own drink.

"Often enough." Shayera replied before continuing to drink her hot chocolate "I spent longer there than at my own home."

"It must have been tough." John remarked, interested in hearing a very rare piece of information about her life, she very reluctantly parted ways with information about herself.

Her head tilted again "I suppose...but it was normal. None of us questioned it."

John nodded his head and finished his drink before continuing with something he hoped would lift the mood a little. "We're going out today to do some Christmas shopping."

"Shopping?"

"Yeah, pick up some presents for the others, maybe some food and other groceries."

"I'll get my coat then." Shayera stated as she gulped the rest of her drink and absently pecked him on the cheek before departing for, he presumed, the bag she had brought along when she had first arrived.

When Shayera returned John was surprised to see that she had put on a very large trench coat, drowning her petite frame and covering her wings completely as they were no doubt folded tightly beneath. As she pulled on her hat and scarf John felt he needed to express his bewilderment.

"What's with the trench coat?"

"We're going shopping...in public." Her voice was matter-of-fact, the reasons behind her coat choice apparently obvious.

"You don't have to hide your wings."

Shayera shrugged awkwardly under the large garment "I do," She slipped on her gloves "Are we going or not?" Her final words signified an end to the conversation.

* * *

><p>The shopping area of downtown Detroit was busy and bustling with people, bags, boxes and tubes of wrapping paper symbolising the joint objective of all that passed. The purchasing of Christmas shopping, gifts, food and everything else that came with the season. John already had an armful of variously coloured bags that openly displayed the shops he had visited on his own shopping quest, Shayera also held a number of bags similar in shapes and sizes to his own.<p>

It was clear from her body language that she was uncomfortable, perhaps outwardly she was the epicentre of calm indifference but he knew her far too well. The determined but uneasy glint in her eyes, the very firm and almost painful grip on his arm as well as her incessant chewing on her lower lip were all signs that despite her outer demeanour, she was far from comfortable. Even so, so far she had rebutted every attempt he had made to offer a break in their spree, a moment or two to give her a chance to relax, but apparently determination to finish the shopping as quickly as possible was her aim.

"Where to next?" She asked as she fluently avoided another passerby.

"Well..." John hesitated; he wanted to go and find her a present but didn't like the idea of leaving her.

Glancing at him she gave him an expression that he knew was a warning not to keep her waiting too long.

"Well, I was going to go and get you a gift." He mentioned, deciding to go with the honest approach.

"You don't have to," Shayera began but she already knew that it was futile, humans enjoyed giving presents and her patience was beginning to run raw anyway. "Where should I wait for you?"

"I'll meet you at the cafe," He said briskly as a rather rude shopper pushed in between them, dislodging Shayera from his arm and having him lunge for her awkwardly as she turned towards the shopper fully prepared to demonstrate her already frayed nerves. "Just go somewhere quiet, I won't be long." John reassured her before allowing himself to be caught in amongst the ocean of people.

Shayera didn't stay long and instead continued to march against the tide of people, just as she was about to grab someone and yell at them for being ignorant, she spotted something.

* * *

><p>In a small dusty shop, John leant over a small table and examined what lie upon it. His bags had been neatly deposited at the base of the table freeing up his hands and allowing him to pick up one of the objects. Held between his thumb and forefinger was an intricate, metal chess piece. Shayera very much enjoyed playing chess often playing with Bruce when time allowed it, John even dabbled in some of it himself his strategic thinking style from his Marine training allowing him in the past to gain a few victories against Shayera.<p>

Still examining the piece, John looked down at the rest of it; everything including the board was composed of metal, lighter silver juxtaposed with a darker granite colour. The pieces themselves were stylised and ironically enough in this case followed a theme around various species of bird. The King being an Eagle while the pawns were little Starlings; all intricately designed and detailed.

John smiled to himself knowing that she would love it. She loved birds, not just Hawks but all kinds; they even used to watch documentaries together on various bird species years ago.

Handing over the agreed price, John had a small conversation with the owner on how to keep the set in fine condition, before wishing the gentleman 'Happy Holidays' and departing, all the while very pleased with himself.

As he left the shop hearing the bell spin as the door closed, John looked up and spotted some men working on the street lights, hanging up the Christmas decorations.

"Hey," John called up, when one of the men turned around John continued "When are they turning the lights on?"

"Tonight around Nine o'clock."

"Thanks."

"No worries, man."

John was sure Shayera would enjoy watching the event.

* * *

><p>It had been an exceptionally long time since she had been in this particular store, having seen it across the street she felt the need to go over and investigate. The store smelt the same way it had all that time ago when she had been there before, the aged comic books providing a musty yet pleasant scent. Taking a deep breath, Shayera continued to examine the various books and pages as she moved along the aisles, this store far emptier than the others she had been in today. It struck her suddenly as she picked up one of the comics that she ought to get John something for Christmas so she meandered a little more before she picked out certain issues and bundled them together in her arms. Buying presents for people was an odd concept for her but she was willing to try and do something.<p>

When she reached the till she gave them over to the older man, recognising him in an instant as the man she had met a few years before, she became uncomfortably self conscious as she hoped that he didn't recognise her. Smiling he took the books from her and she handed over a plastic rectangle. After she rejoined the League and got herself more together, Bruce had insisted on setting up an account for her so that she could support herself. Of course she had told him it wasn't necessary but despite all of her complaints against the idea, Bruce had gone a long with it anyway. She figured that she could at least get John a few things with it; there was a picture album folder she had spotted in another store that she decided she wanted to get as well. John had many loose pictures dotted about his apartment and it struck her as the perfect gift.

When the shopkeeper returned the plastic rectangle, joined with a paper bag containing the books she had purchased, Shayera bid her farewells. As she pulled the door open she heard him call out to her.

"Happy Holidays, Hawkgirl."

Momentarily taken aback Shayera was unable to respond as she was caught amongst the crowd of people passing the shop door.

* * *

><p>John finally located Shayera, the agitated and impatient Thanagarian sitting irritably at a small rickety table at the cafe and was in the process of dismissing an over-eager waiter.<p>

"No, I'm fine...I'm waiting for someone."

"Well I am sorry Ma'am but you can't stay here unless you buy something."

Shayera stood up suddenly and growled dangerously in the back of her throat "I'll buy something in a minute." She threatened.

Just as Shayera was undoubtedly about to wring the poor man's neck, John caught up to her and placed a hand on her shoulder, conscious of the wings that were folded protectively beneath her coat.

"I've been looking for you." John said while firmly tugging her away "Come on, we can go home now."

Her sigh was indication enough that the idea pleased her a great deal.

"About time!"

Later when they arrived at John's apartment they eagerly dumped all of their bags and boxes on the side counter, both making sure that their gifts for each other were well out of reach. Just as Shayera began to shrug her coat off, John was there in an instant removing it quickly and chucking it over the couch.

"What was that about?" Shayera asked noticing his enthusiasm, turning as she spoke and starting to peer into the various bags.

"What was what about?" John parroted.

Smiling Shayera shook her head turning away again and unfurling her wings to full span in a laborious stretch, truth be told she hated concealing her wings in that manner but it was better than having a good portion of the population staring at her every move.

"Never mind." Shayera pulled out one of the boxes and examined it closely "I hope the others like their gifts."

"I'm sure they will, although Clark and Bruce are really hard to buy for."

"You got that right."

Plopping the box back on the counter Shayera automatically approached the fridge, opening it up and taking a glug of orange juice straight from the carton, wiping her mouth absently. Although John hated it when people drank from the carton he was in fact exceptionally pleased. Shayera was finally starting to settle in the apartment and behave as she would in a place she was comfortable in.

"Now, you know how much I hate it when you do that."

She shrugged and returned the orange juice to the fridge "What are you going to do about it, Lantern?"

His arms snaked around her waist as she turned to face him; it had been a long time since she had affectionately referred to him as Lantern. "Absolutely nothing."

Shayera giggled softly as he whispered against her ear, sweet little nothings that gave her pleasant chills. Over the last four days they seemed to have progressed leaps and bounds and after their heavy talk yesterday, she finally felt that they were on the same page. There was nothing trying to hold them back anymore and she could at last enjoy her time with him without worry or confliction, John was hers again and everything..._everything_ was going to be fine. The protection of his arms around her and the safety it imbued her with caused her to wriggle closer against him and tuck her head against his shoulder, cuddling him without guilt or duality.

"So, what's next?" Shayera asked into his collar "Don't tell me it's more shopping, I don't think I could take anymore."

"Well I was thinking we could go and watch the light show tonight."

"Light show?"

* * *

><p>Amongst the cool and slightly chill night, John Stewart landed softly on the roof of a building which overlooked the town of Detroit, providing a view of all the many people crowded below. No more than a second later a soft padding signified Shayera's landing beside him, her voice erupting behind him.<p>

"So what are we doing here?"

"Just watch." John said in a hushed tone, grabbing her hand and pulling her closer to him.

While they both stood in silence, John chanced a side glance in her direction. She had changed so much even from back in the days when he had first met her, hot headed and ill tempered became tender and affectionate. A short time after that the surprising but welcome softness became pain, became lies and sent him reeling with the shock of her revelations and when he saw her again a year later, she was so broken, so...unlike what he had first known.

"What are you staring at?" Shayera asked coyly as she fixed her green orbs on him in the nightly darkness.

"What would you say if I said, you?"

"Well that depends." She curled her arm around his; tucking her hand into his coat pocket "You had that goofy look of yours on."

"Goofy?" John repeated playfully "I'm not goofy."

"What are you then?"

"Enjoying my company."

Shayera nudged him in the ribs with a smile but just as she was about to say something in reply, the crowd below erupted. Blinking Shayera looked down and listened as someone spoke at a podium; they were too far away so she couldn't hear very well, but soon enough the whole crowd was counting loudly in anticipation.

"_Ten!"_

John put an arm around her shoulders.

"_Nine!"_

She smiled and moved closer to him, craning her head to say something in his ear.

"_Eight!"_

Laughing, John gestured below to where she should look.

"_Seven!"_

As Shayera looked below, focusing hard on the area John had indicated...she didn't notice John start to watch her again.

"_Six!"_

He remembered all that time seeing her lost and unlike herself, debating whether or not he had ever truly known her at all.

"_Five!"_

Seeing her now, so much more..._alive_. It sent chills through his bones and sent his pulse racing.

"_Four!"_

Shayera had noticed him staring again and raised an eyebrow, a smirk playing at her lips.

"_Three!"_

John forgot about what they were doing here and instead guided her towards him, their faces almost nose to nose.

"_Two!"_

He could feel her hot breath against his mouth, feel it stammer slightly as he rubbed their noses together, their lips almost touching.

"_One!"_

The crowd below roared in merriment as a series of sparks and controlled fireworks introduced the lights that suddenly flickered on, alighting the street in a bright glow flashing and dazzling their eyes. Shayera forgetting about her closeness to John turned suddenly so that she could see better, the cheers below infectious and filling her with their joy and enthusiasm. Grabbing John she shot him a dazzling smile of her own in contrast to the lights, her face bright and happy.

"It's beautiful."

John smiled and held her back tightly against his chest, her wings framing him on either side.

"It certainly is."


	6. See you on Stage

Twelve Days of Comfort and Joy

Chapter Six

I'll see you on Stage

_On the sixth day of Christmas my true love sent to me_

_Six Geese a laying._

She was being ridiculous.

Absurd even.

The room Shayera Hol stood in was familiar yet different to what she remembered, the layout itself the same but something about it not quite. Like an old friend that you used to be able to converse with for hours, the same friend you hadn't seen for years and the awful realisation that you just had nothing to say to each other anymore. This room felt a lot like that, a painful twinge with all the memories but an invisible wall of unfamiliarity that assured you that your relationship with it just wouldn't be the same.

It was a lot like her relationship with John and it made her realise that _that_ was the real reason she had been avoiding this particular room ever since she got here. Mari had nothing to do with it, it was all her own doing, she had tarnished their relationship with her dishonesty and now she had to pay the price, but she was determined none the less because she had made a promise to herself, to John. John was willing to give them another go, a fresh start and a new beginning and she was determined to put the effort in because she had been dreaming of this very opportunity for the last three years.

A clatter behind her sought to remind her that John was still in the shower, busy getting ready to take her on another outing, some sort of Christmas show that she didn't know much about. Having decided that she couldn't expect John to continue to sleep alongside her on the couch, Shayera had decided to properly investigate the bedroom, she needed as Batman would often say, 'to get over it'.

As she had already determined much of the room was the same as she remembered, the bed was in the same place against the wall with the blinded window on the left, the units and furniture were as she remembered but she was sure that the chair in the corner was a different one. Sighing quietly to herself Shayera stepped further inside looking around all the while. The posters that John had pinned to the walls were missing and she absently wondered if that might have been Mari's doing or John just deciding to take them down. Either way, there was absolutely nothing of her in here, which she had expected; she assumed John had probably thrown out all of the belongings she had slowly brought here during their short time together. Before she could carry on her inspection on how many other things, like John, were different to what she remembered. His voice rumbled behind her.

"Shower is free." He declared chirpily, obviously pleased to see her in this particular room, hopes of not having to put his back through more uncomfortable nights at the forefront of his mind.

Shayera turned around a reply on the tip of her tongue until she clapped eyes on John's bare and still damp chest as he stood in front of her holding a towel tightly around his waist. Her response stammered slightly without her intention and she struggled to grasp the words she had only a moment ago lost. It had been a considerable amount of time since she had seen even his bare un-gloved hands much less his chest and dense muscles, his Lantern costume having concealed him completely during their time apart. Automatically her eyes examined him and despite her trying not to she traced the letters of his USMC tattoo that was inked onto his right bicep.

"Uh..."

John smirked at her inability to form structured words "I already set the shower to the temperature that you like." He continued, clearly un-offended by her obvious ogling.

Relieved to have something to respond to Shayera latched onto his statement and forcibly drew her eyes up to his rather than his very distracting physique, thankfully just before she could draw her attention onto the thin scar running horizontally across his chest.

"T-thanks, I'll just go and...Get ready." Looking away and starting to head towards the exit she continued "Where are we going again?"

"We're going to see a Christmas Nativity. We'll have to leave soon though."

"Right." Shayera suddenly had a change of mind and approached him from behind, pressing her lips against his moist shoulder "I won't be long." And then she departed.

* * *

><p>Later on the pair of them were walking along one of the streets of Detroit, everything a normal couple except that as they walked, heads turned in their wake. Shayera squeezed John's hand tighter, almost painfully so as she heard someone murmur something about Thanagarians as she walked by. Before they had left the apartment Shayera had been in the process of slipping on her wing covering trench coat, however John had forced her to leave it behind, instead making her wear her other coat which was modified to allow her wings freedom. Due to this, every single pair of eyes were trained on them.<p>

Lantern winced as her hand practically crushed his own, but he made no other complaint, he knew that she was very unhappy with him but he didn't feel that she should have to hide her wings.

"Shayera, just relax." He tried to comfort her softly.

"Shut up, John." She snarled obviously extremely uncomfortable.

"You shouldn't have to hide your wings."

A low growl told him that if he wasn't careful he would probably get a fist in his mouth, better than a mace he supposed but Shayera was renowned for her right hook. Either way neither would be desired right now.

Eventually and to John's relief they arrived at the local hall, a small humble building that served as a meeting place for Detroit's citizens to discuss various issues as well as a location for events and parties. On this occasion the event was the Christmas Nativity performed by the kids that went to the local school, money raised from the tickets was put to good use in the school to support the students for the following year. John was more than happy to support the school and even give a little extra money where he could, after all years ago he had been a student there himself.

Tugging Shayera along into the building, the Thanagarian almost adamant that she wasn't going inside, John pulled her with him into the modest queue and waited to approach the desk to purchase their tickets. Shayera was standing very close to him and he was sure that if he let her hand go she might just fly out of here as quickly as her wings could carry her.

Shayera herself kept careful attention on where they were going knowing that soon she could go back home to John's apartment and feel safe and comfortable once again. While she stood there she was acutely aware of all of the pairs of eyes that were on her, the quiet and hushed tones of people talking around her and inside the frightened part of her started to rear its unwanted face. She had thought that she had put that demon away some time ago. Obviously not.

Ears prickling with the various voices and words being spoken around her, Shayera calmed a little when she realised that one voice was merely talking about presents for their children, but her sudden optimism died as quickly as it had been born. Another voice was openly wondering why the local Green Lantern was no longer with Vixen, thinking aloud why he might have left the Super model and instead gone back to the alien that had nearly destroyed the planet.

Tightening her grip further she saw from the look in John's face that it wasn't simply contorted in pain...he had heard too.

"John...this isn't a good idea." She whispered hoarsely, it was bad enough that she hated being in public as it was.

He turned to her and instinctually put a protective arm around her waist bringing her closer, not just to free his hand from her bone crushing grasp. Craning his head lower and towards her, he breathed gently against her ear.

"I am _not_ ashamed of us Shayera; they can say whatever they want."

Her mouth suddenly dry and her mind suddenly blank, Shayera just went with John as he approached the desk at last and ordered their tickets, the server didn't question the purchase or her presence which relieved her no end. Even though her thoughts were still processing John's words, she easily took a seat beside him in the back row so that her wings wouldn't block other patrons' view of the play.

Shifting to get comfortable Shayera wriggled a little closer to John as her wings adjusted, human chairs were rather unforgiving on Thanagarian physiology. Beside her she heard a female's voice as a child; a young boy, literally threw himself into the plastic chair next to her.

"Jack! Be careful." His Mother chastised as she sat down, Jack himself between the former Hawkgirl and his Mother.

Shayera winced a little thinking that the Mum had just not wanted him next to her, but quickly ignored the notion and turned her attention to the stage where the curtains were opening. The large red velvety drapes pushed apart to reveal a small scene, a young girl dressed in blue as she sat on the floor. As Shayera watched, another child entered the stage with paper wings and a halo, obviously an angel, and told Mary of the son she would have. Internally something twinged inside of her chest but she pushed the discomfort away, they were going to build their own future, the past didn't matter anymore, she wasn't with John because of the potential for Rex.

As time went on, Mary as Shayera had learnt, was travelling with Joseph to Bethlehem, a donkey aiding them across the harsh journey and the other young children singing a song to accommodate this part of the Nativity. Once they reached Bethlehem Mary and Joseph struggled to find somewhere to stay.

"No room at the Inn!" The children kept shouting and Shayera thought when she saw Mary and Joseph gain housing in a small stable, of all the nights she had spent sleeping with nothing but the trees to protect her from the weather outside.

In time the baby was born, another song gently sung by the obviously well practiced children. The curtains pulled across as a few readings were given, time backstage devoted to altering the scene, the curtains opening to reveal a number of shepherds. Each of the shepherds donned what looked like dishtowels for head wear and each carried a stuffed, Shayera realised on closer inspection, sheep. As the angel from earlier appeared again a light touch to her wing caught Shayera's attention, however she chose to ignore it, perhaps the little boy beside her had knocked it by accident. When the touch returned and the boy's Mother told him to stop, Shayera looked.

Beside her the little boy, Jack, was trying to touch her feathers without her noticing.

"Jack, keep your hands to yourself." His Mother scolded.

Shayera looked up at the woman "It's okay...he can touch them if he wants to." She regarded the boy and he smiled at her widely before touching her wing more courageously. Shayera smiled when his Mother seemed to relax.

"My name is Shayera." Shayera said softly so as not to disturb everyone's experience of the Nativity and even though she already knew his name she asked anyway.

"Jack." He said proudly as he investigated her wings further. "Are they real?"

"Yes they are."

"Are you an angel?"

Shayera saw John turn to look in the corner of her eye, but he merely watched.

"No...No I'm not an angel."

"But you save people don't you? I've seen you on TV."

Before Shayera could reply Jack started to shuffle closer "Can I sit with you?"

"Jack, don't be so rude." His Mother spoke trying to gain her son's attention.

"But I want to sit with Shayra."

Amused that he had trouble saying her name, Shayera looked towards his Mother "It's okay, he can sit with me if he wants to."

"As long as he isn't any trouble."

"No, he's okay." Shayera smiled as Jack clambered onto her lap, pleased that he could see the play much better now that he was a little higher up.

"Who is that?" Jack asked her although he was pointing at John.

"That's John, he's my...my..." For a second she wasn't sure what to say so she settled on the Thanagarian alternative "_Myr'a._"

John's eyebrows lifted at the Thanagarian word, he recognised it and felt his heart suddenly swell warmly. Smiling he looked to the confused young man and clarified "I'm her boyfriend."

"Are you the Green Lantern?" Jack asked, eyes bulging as he noticed that 'Shayra's' boyfriend had glowing eyes.

"Yes, I am. I'm off duty at the moment though."

Shayera sent a smile in John's direction, the one she specifically kept for him and him alone, for a moment he smiled back before he turned to look back at the stage and watch the rest of the Nativity. Jack likewise continued to sit on her lap and watch as the three Kings followed the star across the sky so that they could meet the new born and bring him gifts. With the end of the play, everyone clapped including Shayera as the curtains drew to a close and the audience began to talk amongst themselves, some being parents of the performing children.

"Jack, say thank-you to Shayera for letting you sit with her."

She didn't know why but for some reason someone calling her by her real name meant a lot to her right then.

"Thank-you Shayra." Jack said obediently but a small smile was planted on his features, leaving Shayera feeling warm and almost wanting to laugh.

"Don't forget to say goodbye Jack, we've got to find your Sister soon."

Jack nodded "Yes Mum." He turned to Shayera and put his little arms around her in a hug "Bye."

"Bye, Jack. It was nice to meet you."

Jack grinned before looking at John "Bye Green Lantern!" He waved as he slid off of Shayera's lap and ran full tilt towards the stage, Shayera suspected to search for his Sister.

Just as Shayera and John stood, Jack's Mother approached her "Thank-you for letting him sit with you, I think you made his Christmas. Both of you."

"He was fine," Shayera nodded unable to stop herself from smiling "And he was no problem, Merry Christmas." She also added as an afterthought.

"And to you two as well."

When John and Shayera were finally left alone again, John took her hand and started to guide her toward the exit "Cute kid."

"Yeah...he was."

John looked at her oddly for a moment before he pulled the door open for her and led her outside, wings brushing against him as she walked past.

"Did you enjoy the Nativity?"

"It was very educational," Shayera replied as they walked back down the street, heading in the direction of something to eat. Somehow all the looks weren't bothering her anymore.

"Educational?"

"Yes, the songs were nice as well."

His throaty chuckle made her laugh.

Later that evening Shayera yawned and stretched both arms and wings, John took it as an indication to get the couch ready for bed. As she watched him she remembered him dragging her out in public, wings in full view simply because he wasn't ashamed of her, or them. Smiling she ignored him as he held up a pillow and asked her if he should get some more blankets, instead she walked towards their bedroom. When he watched her slightly bewildered but obviously curious, the expression being read as adorable by the Thanagarian, she gestured towards the door.

"You coming to bed or what?"

**AN/ The pacing of their relationship is speeding up a little now, all the heavy stuff is pretty much out of the way :)**

**Also _Myr'a _means beloved, I took it from the ancient Egyptian _Myr _which means the same thing and tweaked it a little. My logic is that the Thanagarians went to Egypt and brought them language, a slight variation of their own :)**


	7. In Confidence

Twelve Days of Comfort and Joy

Chapter Seven

In Confidence

_On the seventh day of Christmas my true love sent to me_

_Seven Geese-a-Swimming._

Neither of them had managed to sleep a wink, ever since they had both mutually slipped beneath the thick winter sheets, resting their heads on the soft fluffy pillows, sleep had been surprisingly elusive. Not that either minded, it was an opportunity to talk a little more, hold each other, just be together, it was a side to Shayera John felt he had probably missed the most. Others didn't see it but beneath the facade of a short temper and her infamous aggression, underneath all of those careful layers Shayera was a gentle and affectionate being. It would surprise others to know that she enjoyed cuddles, she enjoyed talking quietly to him about intimate things, things she wouldn't confess to any other person, her fears, her anxieties...and he enjoyed comforting her with soft assurances and gentle touches.

Their sleepless night had consisted of those things, Shayera confiding in him how she often felt when people ran away from her in fear when she tried to help them, the subject brought up as she explained her dislike for public places. He held her a little tighter when she cried a little. Crying was alien to her, she hated to cry and John had very rarely ever seen it, but as much as it upset him, he was able to comfort her as was his need to.

"It's okay," He whispered softly into her hair "I'm here, Shayera."

He felt her move a little, just enough so that she could see his face "You _are_ my _Myr'a_." She reached up and touched his face, the back of her hand running over his strong features. It was a firm statement as if she was trying to convince him of something she thought he would never believe.

Gently he kissed her hand as it passed his mouth "I know." He focused on her eyes remembering seeing the little boy sitting on her lap, remembered the tone of her voice that seemed so different but so tender. It was enough to bring back older memories and dreams, things he had shoved into the back of his pained heart after she had left. Thoughts of a family with her, ponderings on what their family might look like, might be like, he used to be able to clearly picture settling down with her and for the first time in three years, those images, those desires were clear again.

In instinct his memory brought him to Rex, but unlike before it didn't deter him. Rex was a possibility that may or may not come true, Rex was their potential and the very best they could be. Eyes still focused on her, John remembered the request she had made a few days ago and felt that he was ready.

"He was a lot like you." He said in a hushed tone, intentionally cryptic.

Shayera's eyes opened a little wider, it seemed that she had been on the verges of sleep but somehow when she focused on John's outline in the dark she knew who he had been referring to. Rather than ask, she listened.

"Same temper, same fighting spirit...I knew he was _our_ son as soon as he called me Dad."

"W-what did he look like?" Shayera asked, her mind preparing to delete the mental images she had already developed in favour of John's.

John shifted and slid his hand over the cotton fabric of her night shirt until he found where her wing met her back, softly he rubbed the area just around her wing knowing that it was especially sensitive and also that it calmed her no end. Soothed Shayera sidled closer arching her shoulders slightly to guide John to the right place but she knew that John already knew where, his fingers already gently kneading the small space between her wings and shoulders.

"He was a little taller than me, dark hair like mine...your eyes." Those deep emerald green irises that he swore saw right into his heart the moment he first saw them. If he hadn't been sure before he took her mask off that first time, he was certain in the moment afterward when he saw her eyes that he loved her more than he dared confess to himself.

"Did he, did he resemble you?"

Thinking back to the memory John nodded slightly "Yeah, he resembled me. Same nose, same chin." He shrugged as best he could but held her even tighter when she smiled, pleased.

"He must have been handsome...I wish I could have seen him." Shayera's words were sad, her heart clearly aching.

"Maybe one day you will," John gave her a knowing glance before he softened his brown eyes upon seeing her expression.

"John?"

"Yes?"

"Could you explain his wings? Were they real or...or..."

John rubbed her back a little slower; her face was only a few inches from his both of them lying on their sides facing one another. He knew that the truth might upset or disappoint her and he realised how little Bruce had revealed to her, but perhaps it was something positive as he realised that he felt he was the only person that she should need to ask. It made him ashamed of his past behaviour and painfully reminded him of the expression and the diminishing light in her eyes after he told her he was staying with Mari.

"They, well...they weren't real." He saw that same diminishing light again and he felt it stab at his insides. "But he could still fly, his style was a lot like yours," He paused to make sure that she was focusing on him again "I guess he must have learnt from the best."

A small smile humbled her features and he felt himself return the expression, but it fell a little as she spoke.

"Thanagarian and Human physiology isn't completely compatible," Shayera paused and John felt her hand slide under his Marine t-shirt, over his ribs and around to his back gliding up the groove of his spine until she reached his shoulders. Still looking into her eyes he concentrated on her hand as she stroked the bunched muscles of his shoulders, he knew that the area was where his wings would be if he had them and Shayera carefully felt every ridge and groove with her fingers as if she were reading Braille. "The wing gene is recessive which means that two wing genes are needed to produce wings...since Human's don't have wing genes..." She let the sentence trail off, there being no need for her to complete it. As much as she had already known that a child with a human would have no wings, she was comforted that she could at least bear children with him, their genetics not completely incompatible.

"I'm sorry." John said, suddenly feeling that quiet voice of inadequacy in the back of his mind. He was only human while his beloved was an alien, a Thanagarian...maybe sometimes she missed what it was like to be with another Thanagarian, maybe she missed her partner having wings.

"What for?" Shayera's expression was surprised, confused even.

"For not having wings..."

It surprised him to hear her laughing, almost immediately she had snuggled closer still if it were possible and now both of her hands were caressing his upper back.

"Don't be..." She smiled at him, a gentle half smile as if she knew of a secret that he didn't, one that she knew she had to share. "I like that you don't have them." Her hands still massaged his shoulders feeling all of the strong, lean muscles that she couldn't feel on a Thanagarian male. "Besides...it means I can be closer to you." She remembered those nights years ago snuggling into his back in a way that wouldn't have been possible if he had had wings like her. Being with John meant more cuddles and she wouldn't complain about that, although she kept that information strictly to herself, she would never hear the end of it from Wally if he found out that she was a snuggler.

"But," John paused carefully thinking over his thoughts making sure he was happy with everything he was about to say "If we have any children, they won't have-"

A delicate kiss cut off the rest of his words, when Shayera parted from him she made sure that she had his full attention.

"It doesn't matter," Considering him for a few moments before continuing "They might not have my wings but they will have your strength instead, John."

"Do...do you want kids?" He was part way nervous of her answer.

Shayera smiled "Someday, yes. For now though I'm more than content..." She paused "I missed you."

John let out a shaky breath suddenly relieved that she wasn't simply with him because she wanted the son he had told her of, but then he had known the whole time that Shayera wouldn't be with him for that reason alone.

"I missed you too." He replied at last, adding on an afterthought "Sometimes I thought about trying to find you, to make sure you were safe."

Knowing that he wanted to know what had happened to her after she left him all that time ago, Shayera shuddered involuntarily.

"It's okay," John said suddenly "You don't have to tell me...not until you're ready."

"I _will_ tell you," She promised as she held him a little closer feeling comforted by the warmth radiating from his body and the heartbeat she could feel against her chest, but she wasn't sure if it belonged to her or to him or to both of them. "It's just..."

"Shhh." Shayera stopped at John's quiet shushing of her "You don't need to explain yourself." When they had first started talking about trying again almost a month ago, even before then when she first returned, he had wanted her to explain herself, to justify herself, but he knew now that it wasn't necessary. It wasn't necessary because he had finally learnt how to trust her again. Maybe there had been lies and deception, but she was still the woman he had fallen for all those years ago, only his perception of her had changed and he had learnt how to understand it.

Before, he had idealised her, she was perfect, she was immaculate. The revelations during the invasion had pulled her from his pedestal but now, now she was far more real than she had ever been, she made mistakes like everyone else, she was just as stained as they all were. Maybe the Princess could hang onto her perfection and maybe that was what Bruce liked about her, beautiful and pure, untouched by darkness, but John wasn't interested in that concept anymore. Shayera was if not truly...metaphorically human, she was reachable, relatable, obtainable, she was...his love.

John suddenly felt the need to tell her, to say those precious words but he held back, not because he would regret them, but because for now he didn't have to tell her, she knew as he knew.

"John?"

"Hmm?"

"I'm glad that we got through this."

"Well...we're not all the way through yet," He buried his face into her neck and took a deep breath of her scent, Shayera giggling all the while. "But I know we'll make it."

"We should probably get some sleep." Shayera noted as she glanced at the digital clock on the side "It's nearly three in the morning."

John shrugged "We can carry on talking if you like, I don't mind." His suggestion was immediately discredited as he yawned midway through the sentence.

Shayera smiled and touched her forehead to his "As admirable as that is of you, I think you need the sleep as much, if not more than I do." She knew guiltily that he hadn't been sleeping all that well on the couch but tonight she knew he would sleep peacefully as she had been able to ever since she had been able to cuddle up to him at night. The nightmares were less frequent now, less bitty and fractured, she was even starting to have normal dreams again.

"Mmm, you might be right."

"I know I am, so you better listen to me for once."

"Just this once." He mocked as his eyes started to close, slumber starting to reach for him with intent.

For a few moments Shayera memorised every single inch of his face, the strong jaw, chiselled features, the gentle groove between his eyebrows. Kissing his forehead softly Shayera snuggled close to him, her face resting by his.

"Goodnight _Myr'a_."

"Goodnight...Sunshine."

The smile never left her lips even in sleep.


	8. Grand Outings

**AN/ A warning here, this one is a long one. I probably could have split it into two but it would have messed up the timeline a little. Anyway I hope you see what I was getting at with this one :D**

Twelve Days o f Comfort and Joy

Chapter Eight

Grand Outings

_On the eighth day of Christmas my true love sent to me_

_Eight Maids-a-milking._

"You look..." John gasped, catching his breath unexpectedly "...Wow."

Shayera smirked "Not..._'Judas Priest'_ this time?"

The Green Lantern let out an amused sound that originated from deep within his chest "Maybe..." He paused unable to stop staring at her "Uh...so, you ready to go?"

"Whenever you're ready." Shayera replied with the currently ever present smirk firmly placed on her features. The reason for John's inarticulateness as well as his wandering eyes was a delicate pale green almost blue dress, off the shoulder, backless and slightly longer than her previous elevator number. Her red hair was carefully tied in a loose bun, the thicker more stubborn tendrils framing her face but thankfully for once staying out of her eyes, and of course her wings were behind her framing her entirely. She wouldn't say but she had carefully preened her feathers and ensured that they were all smooth with none sticking out oddly; it would seem that her efforts had paid off.

"...Right." John answered at last before awkwardly heading towards the apartment door and opening it, holding it to allow Shayera to pass. John himself was smartly dressed, a pair of dark jeans a green dress shirt and a dark jacket to finish the look, casual but smart and not quite off the catwalk...thankfully. Neither would admit it aloud but both were fully aware that the 'catwalk' look really wasn't John even if he was exceptional at carrying it off.

As Shayera walked past him she absently allowed a wing to brush against his front causing the immediate air to stir and fill her nostrils with the cologne he was wearing. A delicate scent that was neither overpowering nor too weak to notice, strong enough that it caught her attention but not strong enough to irritate her keen sense of smell.

"You smell good."

John coughed awkwardly as he closed his front door and locked it, rattling the handle to ensure security.

"Thanks..." Offering his arm "Shall we?"

* * *

><p>John was starting to wish he had chosen to wear a more comfortable shirt the one he was wearing was feeling tighter and tighter by the minute. Without thinking he reached up and tugged at the collar with a finger in an attempt to free his airways. Currently they were both waiting in a small line to be given a table, specifically the one he had reserved on the roof for both of them to enjoy a romantic dinner.<p>

"Here, let me." Before he could protest Shayera had already turned to face him, her hands reaching up for his collar where she undone the upper most button. "Better?" Her hands lingered slightly longer than was necessary not that either complained.

"Yeah...thanks." The half smile on her lips drew his undivided attention for a moment before he managed to shake himself back to his senses. "Are you warm enough?"

Her reply was for her to snuggle closer to him while tugging on her coat "Plenty."

John had to confess that he was more than happy that she seemed to feel comfortable in public now although he could still detect a certain amount of unease; for the most part she was far better than she had been the previous day. Her anger over that had subsided considerably to John's relief which stretched to accommodate his relief at her acceptance of his proposition...the romantic dinner they had never had.

"Your reservation sir?"

John cleared his throat "John Stewart."

The Maitre d' glanced up from his books and peered at the couple before him over his glasses, if he was surprised or at the very least affected in any way by what he saw, he gave no indication.

"Table fifty-one, upstairs on the right."

John nodded his thanks before leading Shayera onward towards the given destination, as they passed through the first floor of patrons there was a subtle hush before quiet talking resumed, both Shayera and John were unfazed.

"Are you okay?"

"I'm fine, John." She pointed with her free hand "Over there."

Both of them climbed the extravagant stairs to the upper floor and roof. Being a gentleman, John pushed the door open for his companion and allowed her through before him, his eyes unconsciously drawn to the expanse of lean muscle over her back and shoulders. Again he shook his head. On closer inspection of the upper floor it would seem that the roof was not completely open but protected by glass walls and a glass ceiling, completely transparent giving an un-obscured view of Detroit's nightlife. Guiding her to their reserved table John pulled out the chair for her and slid it in as she sat down, his fingers gently brushing her shoulders. Before he departed John gently circled the back of her neck with the pads of his thumbs while leaning over behind her and whispering discreetly into her ear.

"You really do look beautiful tonight."

Without allowing her an opportunity to answer John withdrew and moved around the table to take a seat opposite her, smiling at her but making sure he could see her eyes clearly. On a whim he had decided to bring his ring but not to wear it, for now it was safely stowed in his pocket. It gained the desired affect because Shayera wouldn't look away from his now chocolate brown eyes, a slight twinkle present in her own comparatively green irises. After a short while they started talking, conversation coming easily between them and proof of the progress they had made since they had originally embarked on this Christmas vacation. The original and disconcerting awkwardness and clumsiness had faded by a combination of talks, time and a willingness to start over allowing them to break away from the agonising rut they had been in. Although John was reassured by this and he was sure Shayera was as well, he knew that they still had a lot of work to do.

"Would you like something to drink?" John asked as they concluded their conversation on the surrounding decorations, all extravagant and obviously expensive.

"That would be nice."

John smiled a little before picking up the menu, he was a little surprised by how quiet she was and wondered if it was the situation that was causing it, her taking part in another odd human ritual she probably wasn't sure about. The more he thought about it though as he slowly averted his eyes from the list of wines and looked over the top of the menu to watch Shayera as she looked out past the transparent walls, he realised how quiet she had been generally ever since her return. Opening his mouth he nearly made to ask her but instead filed it away for a later time, he didn't want to drag what was going to be a wonderful night into something gloomy and heavy.

"Are you ready to order?"

Looking up John focused on the waiter that was standing beside him book at the ready to jot down their requests. Oddly his mind drew a blank, he had a great deal of experience in restaurants but they had been with Mari, and it had always been Mari that ordered.

Shayera moved her head slightly so that she could look at John; she smiled just slightly before looking away again, the smile never leaving and it seemed a silent agreement to let him order. Referring to the menu John proceeded to order them both meals as well as a drink each, feeling certain that he knew Shayera well enough to know what she would like to eat. The waiter dutifully left to pass on their orders and while they waited they both began to converse again.

Easy conversation, comfortable, open, John enjoyed every second of it.

"Inza makes some really fantastic cakes..." Shayera paused and cocked her head to one side "Are you okay?"

"Yeah, fine...why wouldn't I be?"

"You looked like you were miles away." She observed.

"No, no, I'm..." He sighed as he fixed his eyes on hers never looking away in case he was swallowed whole never to see them again "We should have done this years ago."

Surprisingly she shook her head "I don't think so," He felt her foot come into contact with his calf and wondered if the touch was intentional or not "This is better than anything it could have been then." The touch was definitely intentional.

Once their meals arrived, John watched carefully for Shayera's reaction in the hopes that he had ordered something she would like. After her first mouthful he was relieved as she admitted her enjoyment with a sound of approval. John had selected something unpretentious and robust, but not too rich, while he himself had something a little more subtle. When finished they pushed their plates to one side and continued to enjoy each other's company, Shayera resting her elbows on the table and propping her chin on her hands. She wanted to mention how good he looked because she knew that he would appreciate the compliment, but she instead kept it to herself and continued to admire him.

In time John began to lean on the table as well and as he was now a little closer Shayera reached out and touched his bearded chin with a finger, dragging it downward and letting her nail scratch the path down and over until it fell away from his jaw. Seeing John shiver slightly she smiled.

"Thank-you for dinner."

"My pleasure," John replied as he decided to take her hand in his and run his thumb over her knuckles before kissing them softly "But the evening isn't over yet, I've got something else planned."

* * *

><p>The apartment was dark as they entered and John didn't bother for the time being to switch a light on, instead he walked towards the bedroom, Shayera right behind him. As he entered he switched on the light and turned to her.<p>

"Put something more comfortable on." Then he turned and left back towards the living room.

Shayera was bewildered if annoyed at his rather blunt choice of words, that and she didn't like being told what to do regardless of the situation. Still standing in the middle of the bedroom in debate Shayera was taken aback as John reappeared now in his Green Lantern uniform, she was surprised further as he tossed her work clothes towards her.

"John," Shayera looked at him and then to her yellow tracksuit that was now in her hands "You're giving me mixed signals here."

To her irritation he laughed "Just put it on." And he disappeared again.

Now she was a little disappointed having spent most of the afternoon getting dressed up especially for their romantic evening and now any indication of potential romance had just completely diminished. Letting out a huff Shayera obliged and changed out of her dress and into her tank and trousers before pushing the bedroom door open. John was stood by the window with a stupid look of childish excitement plastered on his face which only annoyed her more.

"What's going on? Am I missing something?"

"You better bring your mace."

"Fine." Shayera marched back to the bedroom and retrieved her mace halfway contemplating bashing him over the head. When she approached him by the window she watched as he pulled it open and clambered outside, the familiar glow of his ring suspending him in the night air.

"Come on Shayera, I know you're going to love this."

* * *

><p>Sometime later they were zipping through space in a green ball of John's making, planets and stars shooting past them as they travelled along at high speed. So far John had refused to relinquish any information on where they were going and Shayera had decided to keep quiet in the hopes that it would make him uncomfortable enough to force a confession out of him. It dawned on her a little later that taking her into space wasn't the best of ideas.<p>

"Don't you think this is a little stupid?" She asked frowning.

"Why?"

"Well...it's just..." _There could be Thanagarians out here ready to kill me or worse_ "No one knows we're out here."

John seemed to read her mind "Don't worry, it's perfectly safe where we are going, besides," He threw her a grin "I won't let anything happen to you."

After that for a time they returned to silence until Shayera couldn't take anymore "Where are we going?" Before she let him answer she pressed on, unfolding her arms to glare at him openly "I mean, you took me away from a really nice restaurant and-"

"You'll see, trust me it's worth it."

There was an unmistakable growl "It better be."

"I'm sure you will recognise where we are soon enough."

Shayera frowned and looked out of the green bubble, as they passed a rather gloomy looking planet that seemed strikingly familiar, she suddenly recognised where she was.

"We're in the Omega Quadrant!"

"Soon to be the third moon of Galtos."

Shayera was stunned.

"But...but...why?" She stammered.

"I figured since we've been celebrating Christmas like humans, that you might like to celebrate like a Thanagarian."

She would have hugged him right there and then if she didn't think it would distract him from focusing on their transport bubble. None the less her heart swelled with warmth at his gesture, to turn a wonderful night into a perfect one by ending it in the best way.

When they landed Shayera chose that moment to express her appreciation, launching at him and nearly knocking him off of his feet, strong arms holding her in place as she held him tightly.

"I'm guessing you like the surprise?"

"Yes!" She kissed him fully on the mouth "Thank-you."

Taking her hand John lead her to the doors and pushed them open, his memories of the place holding firm as he realised that it hadn't changed a single bit since his first visit. Loud grating music emanated from every corner, aliens of nearly every race he was familiar with were present and Shayera regardless of past happenings loudly greeted some of them. Reaching the bar she slapped the table.

"Where can I get a warm flurb around here?"

The bartender turned around and shouted loudly in greeting "Wings! Long time no see!"

Shayera grinned as he passed her two jugs of flurb, Shayera then passing one to John who peered at it before pushing it away.

"I'm fine thanks."

The grin on her face was priceless. Instead of knocking back her drink like he had expected, she instead shuffled closer to him and whispered into his ear so that he would hear her over the din of music.

"A girl could learn to love you, Lantern."

"I was hoping one already had."

Shayera smiled and moved away slightly "I don't doubt it." It was the first time either of them had come remotely close to telling the other the depth of their feelings ever since she had confessed her own to him all that time ago. John watched her amused as she chugged back her flurb and just like before burped loudly, he knew that soon she was going to start a fight but he was fine with it now that he knew what to expect. It would be a perfect ending to an evening for her and he felt a deep sense of pride knowing that he had made her happy.

An aggressive looking alien that was rather large in size sat down beside John and for an instant he wondered what Shayera would think if he started the fight this time. Running off of instinct and he was sure, insanity, John snatched up his mug of flurb which he was never going to drink even if someone paid him, and proceeded to chuck it over the alien sitting next to him. Shayera grabbed his shoulder and pulled him towards her a fierce smile on her lips.

"Forget what I said earlier...I already learned years ago."

Before he could reply the distraction meant that he failed to see the rather large fist flying in his direction which on impact flung him across the room. As he scrambled to his feet he heard Shayera's distinct war cry before a dull thud signified that her mace had made contact, a beat later and numerous other shouts erupted as a full on brawl began.

* * *

><p>Sometime later and the bar was quiet, the loud music from earlier had stopped when the DJ had been dragged into the fight shortly after it began and the brawl had by now, died down. Amongst the carnage of passed out bodies and aliens too drunk to be bothered with trivial matters such as movement, Shayera was sat on a stool at the bar, the only being in the entire place except the barman still standing. Beside her John was slumped over the bar, barely on his seat where she had put him a few minutes ago.<p>

Quietly Shayera took another sip of her drink, something a little weaker than flurb seeing as she didn't have a strong desire to get herself drunk right now, the want to simply drink for enjoyment having escaped her for a long time. Absently she glanced up at the odd looking clock on the wall, automatically calculating and comparing until she worked out the Earth time and the minutes that had passed since their arrival, something she had learned to do when visiting this place when she was off duty.

"That the same guy you brought last time?"

Glancing up Shayera spotted the barman who regularly called her 'Wings'.

"Yes...although on this occasion he brought me."

The alien chuckled "He's a keeper in that case," He stacked one of the few unbroken glasses on the side "Anyone who brings you here is a keeper Wings knowing all the fights you've started here."

Shayera smiled as she looked towards John before her expression slowly faded.

"Did you hear what happened to Thanagar, Graivun?"

There was a pause "I did..."

Shayera nodded "It was my fault."

"I know."

"Yeah...I guess you would."

"Wings, there ain't nothin' I don't hear in this place." He set another glass down before leaning on the bar. "I'm guessing you don't want to talk about it? Talking has never been your thing."

She shrugged "I guess not."

Graivun resumed his clearing of the bar "I know you chose to save a planet instead of your own, you're not the first to ever go native."

Shayera glanced up and fixed her eyes on the barman, the alien had once been part of a military like unit himself, long since retired.

"I destroyed my people..."

Graivun shrugged "Want to know what I think?" He didn't wait for her confirmation "Either way Thanagar wasn't going to win that war...I think you know that deep down, you've always known it like every other Thanagarian too stubborn to admit it."

When he saw her fist clench around her mace he quickly proceeded "You saved a planet that might not have even guaranteed a victory."

"It doesn't matter." Shayera stated flatly "It's still my doing."

The barman shrugged "Whatever you think Wings," He gestured towards John "He seems decent enough." With that he moved away still laboriously cleaning up the mess.

Sighing Shayera leaned over towards John, turning on her stool so that her knee pressed against his outer thigh. Reaching a hand out she gently stroked the back of his neck, every so often scratching lightly with her nails. Slowly John started to stir, groaning loudly as his list of aches, pains and bruises rushed to the forefront of his mind. Still mumbling he cracked his eyes open and tried to focus on the dozen Shayeras he could see.

"How long was I out?" He asked dryly.

Shayera checked the odd clock "About fifteen minutes." When he groaned in disapproval she added "Not bad considering it was a Metekian that punched you out."

John grumbled again, rolling his shoulders awkwardly as he remained hunched over the table.

"Better give him this."

Shayera accepted the glass that had been passed to her by Graivan, a tall cylindrical glass filled with a cool blue and white liquid. Still keeping one hand against the back of his neck idly generating meaningless patterns, Shayera moved the drink towards him.

"Drink up, John."

"What is it?" He grumbled. His head felt like it was going to burst, next time he uses the ring, that is if he plans to start anymore brawls.

Shayera noticeably paused "Best I don't tell you, but by human standards it's more..._digestible_."

Groaning he managed to sit up and enclosed his fingers around the cool glass, without hesitation or pause to even sniff the concoction John slurped some down. Shivering as he felt it go down John was surprised that it didn't taste too bad, it was certainly a lot better than flurb that was for sure. Setting the drink back down he reached up to inspect his features but as he did so Shayera moved a little closer.

"I already cleaned up your cuts while you were out, that was a very good fight you started there." She almost seemed proud of him.

"I aim to please." He grimaced as his ribs protested slightly "I would have brought you earlier but I figured it was best if we had dinner first."

A nod confirmed her agreement "You were right about that."Her smile was amused but soft as her hand continued to trace the back of his neck.

"You had better watch yourself Green Lantern," Graivan muttered as he moved past sweeping up debris as he went "Thanagarians don't touch just anybody you know."

Despite his sore and bruised body, John laughed "Tell me about it."

Giving him a playful punch in the arm Shayera swivelled on her stool before she suddenly remembered something. The night had been perfect; a wonderful dinner followed by a spectacular fight but there was one more thing, just one last thing to make everything completely amazing.

"You know John," She leaned close to him and pushed his stool around so that he faced her "There's just one more thing that would make this evening perfect."

John had a headache and now a serious case of déjà vu "I don't think there is anyone left willing to fight Shayera..."

She chuckled "No stupid." Her hand grabbed the front of his uniform right over the emblem on his chest and proceeded to pull him forward, a moment later and she gently kissed him. "Thank-you for the best night...both human_ and_ Thanagarian."

"That..." John grinned "Almost makes this bruised face worth it."

"Almost?"

"Yeah...that, a hot shower and a bottle of beer."

"Well...I'm going to go to the rest room first and then we can leave."

"They have rest rooms here?"

Shayera gave him a look before shaking her head and walking off. John shrugged, grimaced and finished his drink, the alien barman returning to the bar.

"You won't tell anyone she was here." It wasn't a question or even a request...but an order.

Graivan turned and met John's eyes "One thing you should know Green Lantern," the barman didn't avert his eyes even as one of the unconscious aliens rolled onto his side... still unconscious "Everyone here is just passing through, no one gives their name, origin or destination and no one ever stays long."A moment later and he snatched up John's now empty glass "You have my word that no one will know she was here."

"Good."

Graivan nodded and turned his head as Shayera reappeared "So Marine, think you're ready to take us home?"

"I reckon so." John stood and slipped an arm around her "I'm going to hurt in the morning I just know it."

Shayera chuckled "That throw you performed midway through the fight was-"

"Hey Wings!"

"Yeah?"

"I was right, he is a keeper."

The bar echoed with her laughter.

**AN/**

** Maitre d' - is the guy on the floor of a Restaurant who gives the tables and organises the staff :)**

**Also with Graivan...I have a story that's still very much in the planning stages but it will have (when I write it of course) an expansion on him as well as other things but its all 'hush hush' at the moment ;)**

**Hope you enjoyed this chapter :D**


	9. It really is A Wonderful Life

**AN/Once again a thank-you here to Loki's Son who suggested that I watch this particular film, best film I've seen in a long while :) Oh and this is another long chapter. Also a big thanks to everyone who has read this story so far and also to those who have given me feedback, it is appreciated no end :D**

Twelve Days of Comfort and Joy 

Chapter Nine

It really is a Wonderful Life

_On the ninth day of Christmas my true love sent to me_

_Nine Ladies Dancing._

The lights from the Christmas tree cast an interesting fluctuation of colours around the room and walls, bouncing off of reflective surfaces and making Shayera feel very slightly festive, although she wasn't sure if it was the tree or something else. Perhaps it was the wonderful evening she had spent with John yesterday and she chuckled to herself as she remembered John entering the apartment and going straight to bed falling asleep almost instantly. She hadn't been long behind him.

Holding in a yawn she continued with her current project. Having specifically woken early so that she could take care of a number of things before John woke; Shayera tore off a strip of sticky tape and fastened it to the package she was wrapping. Around her lay a few small shoe boxes filled with photographs and having hand selected some she had carefully placed them inside the photo album she had purchased John a few days ago. Satisfied that her gift wrapping was completed she tucked them under the tree and started to gather up the materials she had been using, also ensuring that she returned the boxes to their rightful place to dissuade suspicion.

As she walked into the kitchen area to make herself a drink, Shayera spotted a pile of books in one corner and recognised them as cookbooks, a sudden idea struck her. Memories served to remind her of some of the mornings when John had brought her breakfast in bed and she remembered how caring it felt, it wasn't a second later when Shayera decided to do the same. After everything he had done for her yesterday she had to do something in return. At random she pulled out one of the books and examined the list of contents and slowly debated what to make and hoping in the mean time that John had enough ingredients in the cupboards.

* * *

><p>John Stewart felt sore and stiff, evidence enough that he had been involved in an intergalactic bar brawl. In spite of his aching body, John rolled over onto his back and stared up at the ceiling feeling that nothing could be better. Everything was perfect or at least close to it, even down to his chilled toes that weren't covered by the pile of blankets on the bed. Better yet he felt a deep sense of peace and contentment...he was happy.<p>

Happier than he had felt in a long time.

This sense of peace and happiness however was short lived as a distinct smell wafted into the bedroom and into his nostrils, his muscles tensed with alarm as he recognised the scent as smoke. With lightening reflexes crafted from years as a Marine and a Green Lantern, John launched out of the bed and glanced frantically around for Shayera, discovering that she was nowhere nearby he rushed to the bedroom door and yanked it open. Indeed he hadn't been wrong about the smoke, but he had been wrong for the need of alarm.

Standing in his kitchen was Shayera looking frustrated and rather ill tempered while glaring at an open book lying in front of her. The kitchen generally was a mess, various kitchen tools and ingredients were strewn everywhere, not only that but there appeared to be a thin coating of flour over every surface. Whilst still examining the scene before him John spotted the oven and discovered that the scent of smoke and the curling tendrils emanating from the oven were indeed...connected.

"Shayera...what are you-"

"John!" Shayera jumped startled, "You're not supposed to be up yet." It sounded like an accusation.

John gingerly peered around at the kitchen carnage grimacing in discomfort from aches as well as internally at the amount of mess that lay before him, but then Shayera had never been particularly tidy.

"What are you doing?...and that oven better not be on fire." It took a lot of his will _not_ to launch at it and throw it open to see for himself.

"Oh, no it's fine," John breathed a sigh of relief "I already put it out."

"What?"

Shayera pursed her lips into a thin line "I said I already put it out...it wasn't even that bad." She sounded indignant now.

"If you wanted something to eat, you could have just woken me up." John reasoned as he finally gave in and approached the oven, tentatively opening it and discovering that it was now burnt inside. It was going to take some effort to get it clean again. Sighing to himself he turned to Shayera only to discover that she was tearful, not crying but obviously upset.

"Shayera...what's wrong?"

She roughly pushed him away and slammed the book shut, slinging it across the worktop before hefting herself up onto the island table and folding her arms.

"Nothing."

"This looks like nothing." John remarked, rolling his eyes.

When she didn't answer but continued to glare at nothing in particular, John approached where she was sat and craned his head to interrupt her line of vision.

"What's going on?"

Her glare wavered before she relented and stared at him instead "I wanted to cook you breakfast."

"You didn't have to."

"I wanted to!" She replied shortly before unfolding her arms and gripping the edge of the table "I wanted to do something nice for you...turns out I can't." A sigh passed her lips as she mumbled "If it were Coishen Oysters there wouldn't be a problem...Earth food is so...odd."

John chuckled but quickly stopped when she looked at him dangerously. Clearing his throat he reached up a hand and swiped some flour from her cheek with his thumb "I would have thought that you would have learned how to cook by now."

She shook her head and shrugged him off.

Looking up at her he smiled brightly "I'll teach you, the basics aren't hard...I'm sure we can whip something up here." Their faces were close because he had leant forward and just as John moved away again to begin trying to recover his kitchen, Shayera leant forward, almost touching his face but stopping midway and awkwardly looking away. John hadn't missed it.

A few months ago when they had first agreed to start seeing each other again, they had hardly touched. They didn't hold hands nor did they stand too close together, but over time they had slowly began to touch each other more and more. A hand on the shoulder here, a brush of fingers, a wing, eventually they were holding hands and progressing further. There was however one particular form of touching they hadn't breached again yet and although he had rubbed noses with her on a few occasions, Shayera herself hadn't yet made any attempt herself to touch his face, an intimate Thanagarian gesture.

Taking the initiative John reached his hand back up to her face letting his fingers slide over her angled jaw towards her ear before returning to her chin. He repeated the motion but this time continued past her ear and up to her eyes, eyebrows, nose, cheek and lastly her lips. Shayera herself didn't move, she was hardly daring to breathe. Gently he pushed his hand up into her hair, forcing back her more prominent red bangs and revealing her forehead, leaning in he touched his nose to the area before brushing his lips there. When he removed his hand her red locks stubbornly returned to their previous places.

Looking at her closely John mentioned what had occurred to him the previous night. "You're quieter than you used to be."

Shayera shrugged a little "I learned to think more...irrationality isn't the only way to work." She had spent long enough in her own company to develop thinking as a new if alien habit. "Don't you...like it?"

John smiled as he continued to run his fingers through her hair "Just takes some getting used to."

Nodding she leant forward a little, indication enough that the next step to the gesture was welcome. In recognising the quiet message John himself leaned closer too until his face was a few centimetres away "Been a long time since we've done this." John observed.

She smiled but only a little before she closed the distance and touched her face to his, sliding her cheek over his even as her hands came up to keep his face close to hers. John had missed this interaction with her; it had even stuck with him when he had started dating Mari although not for long. Once he had tried to nuzzle Mari affectionately but like he had with Shayera once, she kissed him rather than what he had expected. At the time he couldn't understand why it bothered him as much as it had when it had occurred, but he guessed he had picked up a lot of Thanagarian habits. Face touching was one; starting intergalactic brawls another, his shoulders chose that moment to twinge uncomfortably.

"Are you still sore?" Shayera whispered against his cheek.

"A bit yeah, I'll be fine."

She moved her face slightly although taking special care to remain touching "I'm sorry about the mess."

John smiled as Shayera let out an unimpressed sound in her throat when his beard rubbed against her cheek, "It's okay, won't take long to clean up...and you know you like the beard really."

"I'll help...and, I don't"

"After we've tidied up you can make breakfast." He decided to let the beard comment slide.

"I thought we decided against that?" Shayera was looking at him now, twinkling green eyes looking into his.

"No...We decided I was going to teach you."

* * *

><p>"Gently."<p>

Shayera let out an annoyed breath as she brought the egg closer to the edge of the bowl she was holding, John was stood right behind her between her wings holding the bowl steady. Just as Shayera was about to tap the egg against the side of the bowl she paused.

"Maybe I should put this in a different bowl."

"It's fine Shayera, just be gentle." She focused on the egg but John was distracting her, dotting little kisses on her neck "I know you can be gentle when you want to be." He murmured teasingly.

"John, I'm trying to concentrate."

He laughed against her skin making her wings tense in surprise before she relaxed again. Slowly his hand came around to hold hers as he guided her and helped her break the egg, his other hand holding the bowl still.

"There we go, that was great. Grab that wisk there."

Shayera, mildly proud of her egg cracking skills reached out and selected the wisk, dipping it into the bowl and beginning to wisk the contents. John seemed to be letting her get on with making the pancake batter but soon enough she felt his hand against her abdomen, sliding up under her loose night shirt and travelling over her firm stomach. While she continued with her batter making she felt John's hand stop and slow down, his fingers examining the area just above her navel. Shayera knew what he had found and knew the moment when he realised too, his breath catching.

"Shayera...is...is that...?"

"Yes." She let the wisk sit in the bowl as she turned to face John, lifting her top in the process to look at where his hand had been. There in the centre was a very faint scar, hard to see unless you either knew exactly where it was or were looking for it. The scar was irregular and slightly lighter than the rest of her skin, tendrils reaching out and extending further than the centre of the mark. Shayera let her hand trail over it before she pulled her shirt down. It was a reminder of everything that had happened; all the pain she had caused her people, her family, John and herself, it was funny how much an electrical burn from an Nth Metal axe could symbolise.

John seemed lost for words, maybe the reminder of Hro had just thrown their relationship into reverse again, maybe it had just reminded him of all the pain she had given him.

"I've got one too." He said at last, voice quietly subdued. Without hesitation he pulled his USMC shirt over his head and gestured to his own scar reaching from one pectoral to the other. Instinctively Shayera reached out and touched the mark, trailing her finger from one end to the other flashing her mind with unwanted memories.

She wanted to say something but all she could think was that he had nearly died, Hro had nearly killed him and the Earth had nearly been destroyed...all because of her. Rather than say anything she moved to hug him, arms around his waist as she leant her head against his shoulder, if she had never come to Earth she would never have been able to hurt him and everyone else as much as she had.

"I'm so sorry, John."

"Don't worry..." He kissed the top of her head "Let's just finish breakfast, I don't know about you but I don't want to do anything today."

"We could watch a movie."

"Sounds like a plan."

* * *

><p>After selecting a movie for them to watch John settled down on the couch and waited for Shayera to return, she had disappeared off to the kitchen to get some snacks. A plate appeared on the small table beside him full of chips as well as a carton of eggnog and glasses on John's request.<p>

"You picked a movie yet?"

John opened his mouth to answer but groaned instead when Shayera's hands rubbed his neck and shoulders, kneading the muscles. Shrugging his shoulders upward he tilted his head to give her better access.

"Yeah," He grunted again.

"You're really tense you know."

"I know." John wriggled beneath her hands as his shoulders spiked with a little pain at her work, although he was a little disappointed when she stopped and slid her hands over his chest before withdrawing completely. Taking a seat beside him Shayera wriggled close as John turned the movie on.

"So what are we watching?"

John poured her some eggnog into a glass and handed it to her "It's a Wonderful Life."

Shayera watched the movie attentively throughout, watching the life of George Bailey as he was continually stopped at every turn for getting his wish to travel. She watched as he later had a family but struggled to keep his Father's business aloft against the might of Mr Potter's bank. She empathised with him when everything seemed to come crashing down around him and he wished that he had never been born.

It was at this point that she watched even closer, watching as George Bailey saw how different everything was if he hadn't lived. All those lives he had been a part of were strikingly different, and none of them for the better either. Shayera was so absorbed by this point that she hadn't notice John watching her, not even as George Bailey charged back to the bridge desperate to live again.

"Please! I want to live again...I want to live! Please Clarence!"

Hastily Shayera wiped her eye with the back of her hand, she understood because she had had an epiphany like George Bailey, coming so close to wanting to disappear off the face of existence but at the last minute realising that she wasn't ready.

"Are you okay?" John asked her quietly as he put his drink down on the table and leaned close to her.

"Fine..."

John stayed close and continued to watch, both of them smiling as George ran through town yelling 'Merry Christmas' to anything that would stand still, and lastly watching all of the people he had affected helping him in the end with his troubles.

The movie finished and Shayera sighed. "Do you think that someone has that much impact on the people around them?"

John looked towards her and smiled "Of course they do."

Shayera pondered for a short while "If I hadn't come to Earth..."

"It probably wouldn't still be here, I wouldn't be here, the others wouldn't be here..." He paused and smiled wider "That Mother and child you saved the night you came back wouldn't be here...Wally wouldn't be dating Fire-"

"Okay, okay...I get the point." Shayera laughed.

"Good," John agreed "Because regardless of anything, Shayera Hol...the Earth wouldn't be the same without you, just like it wasn't without George Bailey."

"John...I..." The words were almost out, she was going to tell him how much he meant to her, how much his words meant to her. How suddenly secure her existence felt now that she knew she had purpose, that her life had meaning and value. Maybe she had always known but many times she had been forced to question it all.

"Shhh..." John murmured softly before leaning back towards his end of the couch but bringing her with him so that they were lying back against the arm rest.

_Settle down with me._

_Cover me up, cuddle me in._

_Lie down with me and hold me in your arms. _

Shayera shifted closer to him until she was lying on her stomach on his chest, her face close to his as he tilted his head to brush his nose against her jaw.

_And your heart's against my chest, lips pressed to my neck,_

_I'm falling for your eyes but they don't know me yet, _

_A feeling I won't forget...I'm in love now. _

His arms came around her to hold her, Shayera's wings relaxing until they were open loosely and covering them both up like a large feathery blanket. Slowly she moved until she was looking down into his eyes drawing her nearer like an invisible magnet until John closed the gap and kissed her softly.

_Kiss me like you wanna be loved, _

_You wanna be loved...You wanna be loved. _

_This feels like I'm falling in love, _

_Falling in love...falling in love. _

She parted from him and smiled at him the unspoken words still there but clear enough in their eyes, the emotions long ago denied but finally once again gaining clarity, and when John smiled back she felt her heart melting all over again.

_Yeah I've been feeling everything, _

_From hate to love, _

_From love to lust, _

_From lust to truth, _

The Christmas lights continued to flash while the film returned to the DVD menu, John's arms still holding her tightly as she did him. Both falling asleep again, reassured by the safety and comfort that they felt in the others embrace.

_But I guess that's how I know you..._

__**An/ The lyrics at the end there belong to Ed Sheeran's -Kiss Me. I was just playing around with format, the intention of the lyrics is to boost the emotions I'm trying to convey at that point, I'm not sure how well it worked though and I'd appreciate any feedback on that so I can figure out if its something that might work in future pieces. **

**Of course the film was 'It's a Wonderful Life' which also doesn't belong to me and if you haven't seen it, then go watch it :)**


	10. Dances with Masks

******An/ A couple of other leaguers thrown in here for good measure ;)**

Twelve Days of Comfort and Joy 

Chapter Ten

Dances with Masks

_On the tenth day of Christmas my true love sent to me_

_Ten Lords-a-leaping._

Christmas Eve, the day before Christmas and the expanded Justice League were busy planning a party, a last minute get together before everyone parted ways to spend the holiday with their families and loved ones. The invitation had been simple and everyone had received one, the only conditions being that the party was to be themed on a Masquerade ball, an ideal solution to protecting secret identities. This rule however even stretched to those that no longer bore secret identities or had just never had any to protect, John Stewart was one of those people.

Having always held a dislike for the prospects of wearing a mask, John was slightly dubious as he looked down at the emerald green eye mask he was to don for the night. Half of him would be more than content to spend the night with Shayera, they were getting closer and closer and he was in retrospect finding it hard to keep his hands off of her. Letting out a breath he put the mask on the side unit and picked up his jacket, a dark coloured one to match his trousers, his usual look along with a coloured dress shirt...green as was customary. People might suggest that he was unoriginal but he knew what he liked to wear and he was more than content with that.

Out of the corner of his eye he spotted Shayera entering the room, an emerald gown hugging her shapely figure, her wings were preened which he was sure she didn't think he noticed, and her hair was once again up in a large but loose bun. John gaped before he realised his manners and closed his mouth, he did notice though as he came to his senses that Shayera was looking less than happy, the grey eye mask she was to wear held in her hands.

"Do I have to wear this?"

"Yeah, it's the theme of the party...I know, I don't like masks either."

"It's not that it's just..." She paused still fingering the item in her hands "I haven't worn a mask since...well since the invasion."

John took the mask from her hands and examined it, the feathers plumed at either side reminding him of her Hawkgirl helmet, an uncanny resemblance. Without thinking he reached up and attempted to put the mask on her but she recoiled from him, practically slapping his hand away.

"If...you'd rather put it on yourself?" He said carefully unsure as to whether or not he had offended her; Thanagarian culture was still a tricky thing to understand.

"No...I'm just not permitted to wear it."

John raised an eyebrow "It's just a mask-"

"Urgh you don't understand!" Shayera exploded suddenly, throwing her hands up into the air in obvious display of her distress.

"Then explain." John remained calm in the face of her anger; it was one of the few ways to get by it without any permanent damage being inflicted.

An aggravated breath was released between her teeth before she seemed composed enough to elaborate "I was _publically_ unmasked...stripped of my honour and name...I am _not _permitted to wear a mask anymore."

Pondering John looked down at the offensive object before making a suggestion, it was probably stupid but it was worth a shot.

"Well...what if I put it on you? Isn't that okay?"

"I have no honour or name, it doesn't matter who puts it on me."

"You have honour, if you didn't," He swallowed and was surprised by how hard the action was "You wouldn't still be here, fighting to help people," _She'd probably be dead or worse_ "And your name is Shayera Hol."

"John..."

"Shayera, if you don't want to wear it then don't, I'm not going to make you."

"I'd be more comfortable without it."

"Then it's settled."

* * *

><p>Up in the orbiting Watchtower the large monitor womb had been converted into a party hall, it was the largest area of the entire satellite so it was perfect for housing nearly every member of the expanded League. John and Shayera entered the hall hand in hand and took a moment just to look around. Decorations hung from anything that wasn't moving, trees adorned every corner and music blared out of mounted speakers, a temporary bar had also been set up in the far corner. Whoever was responsible, it must have taken them ages.<p>

Progressing through the crowds of people the two of them found themselves automatically radiating towards the other founders. Despite Clark's best attempts to integrate the original team with the new, there was still a distinct separation between the two. An amused chortle was released from John as they reached their target.

"Nice outfit Bruce."

"I'm glad you approve." The dark knight responded dryly, pulling his cape tighter over his chest.

Shayera's lips quirked into a smile "You couldn't bring yourself to dress down on this one occasion?"

Turning to her the fully outfitted Batman narrowed his eyes before apparently actually looking at her, looking away again he deadpanned "You look nice...no mask though."

"No. No mask." Chuckling Shayera gave him a smile "Coming from you though that has to be the best compliment I can get all night."

"Hey!" John interjected "What about my compliments?"

"You're supposed to compliment me; it's like some kind of Earth protocol or something."

Neither of them noticed Batman smirk slightly before his customary and rather anti-festive frown returned and he swept away from them, a metaphorical dark cloud.

"Well I don't do it because I have to...did you see Batman go?"

Shayera snorted as she tugged on John's arm "No one sees Batman go, you're lucky if you even notice him arrive."

"True that."

Nodding, Shayera pulled John through the crowd. A few months ago she would have cringed at the thought of being around so many people but over the last week large crowds didn't bother her as much now. Maybe it was John's hand held tightly in hers or maybe she had finally dealt with her own grievances with herself, her own guilt and self-loathing...because for the first time in years, she didn't hate what she saw reflected at her in the mirror.

Soon enough they found the Flash, someone Shayera held in high regard, the closest thing she had to a brother but also one of the few that didn't judge her, had never judged her. Without announcing her presence first Shayera balled her fist and punched Wally in the arm.

"Ouch! Hey!" He swung around, a camera held in his hand as he came face to face with Shayera, his older yet shorter sister although he dare not mention her height to her face "Wow, you look hot."

Shayera turned to John "You see I know not to take that compliment seriously because Wally says that to every woman he meets."

"I do not!" Flash defended "At least...not every woman."

"Of course not Hotshot." John grinned "What's with the camera?"

"Oh," Wally held it up rather proud of himself "I'm getting pictures of couples under the mistletoe, thought it would make a cool Christmas display...that and a means for bribery..."

John pulled a clearly disapproving expression before a smile broke his visage "If you get one of Bruce I'll give you twenty bucks."

"Deal!" Wally agreed enthusiastically "I'll have to try and get the Princess in on it."He continued more to himself.

Shayera laughed "Good luck with that." She pondered for a second "So who have you got already?"

"Uh..." Wally clicked through the images on the camera "Black Canary and Green Arrow, Clark and Lois, Huntress and Question...which was totally weird by the way...and a couple of others."

"Why don't you get one of us?" John suggested, already forming a green mistletoe construct that loomed expectantly over his and Shayera's heads.

Wally eyed the construct "Suave GL, very suave."Both men grinned as Shayera uncharacteristically giggled, the white lenses of Wally's red mask showing his obvious amusement. "You two are good for each other, you know that?"

John was about to answer when Shayera roughly grabbed the front of his jacket and pulled him down to her level, one of her hands letting go only so that she could cup his face. The sudden action had knocked John slightly off balance and he grabbed her waist more for stability than anything else but gladly returned her kiss, a sudden passion sparking between them.

Flash shook his head before snapping a picture, still grinning as he looked at it "You guys want to take a look?" Wally glanced up only to find that the pair were too busy with each other to even hear him "Uh...guys?" He laughed "Never mind."

Somehow the Green Lantern managed to part only if it was for air although he sorely wanted to continue, her lips were soft and her eyes were gleaming with something he hadn't seen for a long time.

"Would you like to dance?" He croaked his voice ever so slightly higher in pitch than normal.

"I'd like that." Shayera agreed and allowed him to guide her to the dance floor.

The music had slowed compared to the original raucous music that had been playing when they had arrived. John pulled Shayera close to him as he rested his hands on her hips, her arms wrapping around his shoulders and her cheek brushing against his as she whispered into his ear.

"I never thought we'd get this back."

"I know..." He replied keeping his voice a low murmur "But we have..." He laughed self-depreciatively "I just wish I hadn't spent so much time trying to fight it."

She let out a sound that he couldn't identify as either amusement or annoyance, maybe it was just acceptance "I don't want to lose you again John."

A soft kiss brushed her jaw although it was accompanied by a slight tingly roughness from his beard that if she admitted, actually enjoyed.

"You won't." He confirmed to her "Nothing will come between us again, I promise."

"I'll hold you to that Lantern."

"Don't I know it."

A sudden laugh in his ear got his attention "What's so funny?"

"You better had been serious earlier about that twenty bucks..."

John moved them so that he could see in the direction Shayera could, when he did he saw that Diana had managed to corner Bruce under some mistletoe and had been subsequently awarded for her efforts with a kiss from the dark knight.

"I don't believe it." John admitted before he shook his head "Actually, yeah I do."

They continued to dance slowly along the floor, lost in thought and feeling, neither one feeling pressurised to talk. Shayera allowed her nails to gently scratch the back of John's neck as she leaned into him completely lost in just being with John, just dancing with him. Likewise John too was lost in the moment, nibbling on her ear a little just to get little giggles out of her as he let his thumb move in circles against the small of her back.

"John?"

"Hmm?"

"I..." She paused and nestled her face into his shoulder before turning so that her head rested there and her mouth was turned towards his ear "I love you."

He didn't reply straight away but unlike once before she didn't panic at his silence...she didn't really need an answer this time.

"I love you too...Don't ever forget that."

* * *

><p>When they later arrived home in the early hours of the morning, neither of them bothered with the lights, instead entered the apartment and closed the door, John locking it securely.<p>

"It's Christmas Eve." John reminded her as he slipped off his jacket and placed it over the chair.

Shayera approached him in the darkness, easily finding his form despite the lack of light. Despite his dislike of masks he had put his on and now Shayera was slowly reaching up to remove it, a strange role reversal compared to the singularly most cherished memory she possessed. Fingers finding the edge of the material she slowly lifted it away from his eyes, nothing but the glow of his green irises to greet her but she had long ago learned to read the wealth of emotions that swirled in them. A hand found her hip, softly caressing the material of her gown as it slowly found its way to the small of her back, tiny circles being made by the pads of his fingers sending little twinges of pleasure up her back, but she ignored them.

Grasping his other hand she started to kiss him gently, little fleeting kisses to his mouth and face and he likewise responded, trailing down her chin to her neck. Still holding his hand Shayera started to slide the ring from his finger, slowly but surely feeling it pass over his knuckles until it was completely free. Leaning back she dislodged John from her shoulder so that she could see his eyes, a chocolately brown immersing her, starting to drown her.

The ring was placed carefully on the side, safe and out of the way, no one left in the room except for John Stewart and Shayera Hol, Hawkgirl had fled some time ago and the Green Lantern had just disappeared too. Stripping down to their barest identities left them vulnerable but a kind of vulnerable that they were willing to expose to each other, the only other person in the whole World or even Universe that understood them completely, totally...without judgement, without expectation.

Everything else had fallen away, the strange memories of the Absorbacron that were neither theirs or not theirs, the revelations of a future child, the pressures of seeing one with another, the pain of lies and dual identities...it was all gone. Washed away.

A mumble passed Shayera's lips as John captured them with his own again, gentle and tender, always. Shayera herself had already unbuttoned his upper shirt buttons but John interrupted her, scooping her up into his arms and carrying her away.


	11. Something of Potential

**An/ This chapter may be a little confusing, but I hope you can see what I was trying to do :)**

Twelve Days of Comfort and Joy

Chapter Eleven 

Something of Potential

_On the eleventh day of Christmas my true love sent to me,_

_Eleven Pipers Piping._

Winter weather lapped at the window, chilly air and a slight wind breezing by but thanks to the numerous blankets and sheets neither of the two sleeping forms on the bed noticed. Amongst the cosy warmth of the sheets Shayera could sense something considerably warmer and automatically began to radiate towards it even while half asleep. Sleepily she discovered it and curled up against it, snuggling in before being willing to fall back into wherever she had been in sleep. Something in the back of her mind tickled, the sense usually related to trouble or forthcoming danger and her wings twitched in a combination of irritation and anticipation for what was about to occur. However it didn't and Shayera let out a breath before nuzzling further into John's form. Just as she was about to savour the peace and the deep sense of comfort, the door to the bedroom flew open, bouncing off of the wall as it collided with it.

John like a spring hastily sat up out of surprise and instinct before he groaned and flopped back onto the pillows, a small form meanwhile charged into the room screaming at the top of his Thanagarian lungs before quite literally launching onto his parent's bed. In his haste he hadn't considered whom or what he might land on and discovered on impact with something soft that he had in fact landed on one of his Mother's wings, a notion confirmed when a loud and almost stifled yelp filled the room.

"Rex!"

The loud commanding voice halted the small boy in his tracks even as he was in the process of trying to get off of the feathery wing he had squashed in his excitement. Sitting stock still he waited to find out which parent was going to tell him off but instead of being yelled at as he expected, more so from his mother, he heard laughing.

"Careful son, you upset your Mum and she won't let you have your presents." John continued to laugh as he sat up "Come on, off you get."

Rex mobilised and quickly jumped off of his Mother and into his father's lap "I didn't mean to."

Shayera groaned loudly before leaning back so that she could see both her boys, eyeing the smaller of the two with a very serious expression.

"What have I told you about running in here screaming?"

The colour drained from Rex's face "Uh...I...but it's...it's..."

Shayera grinned as she snatched her son up in her arms and tugged him beneath her, blowing on his stomach and generating a fit of giggles out of the young Thanagarian hybrid.

"Christmas!" Shayera laughed "So you can run around and scream as much as you like!"

Rex continued to laugh hysterically as he tried to escape Shayera's tickles "Dad!" He called in between giggles "Make her stop."

"No can do son, you'll have to fend for yourself."

Shayera stopped and looked at John a smirk playing on her lips "Daddy's just a light weight." She teased.

"I am not."

"Daddy's a light weight isn't he mummy?"

"Yeah," Shayera agreed as she leaned back on her haunches "We'll have to do something about that won't we?" She looked at Rex and smiled "Ready?"

John focused on the pair of them, looking from one to the other "Oh no you don't."

"Get him!" Rex yelled and threw himself at his father, Shayera too joining in as both of them sought to tickle the Green Lantern. Despite being a hardened Marine and superhero John Stewart laughed when tickled, both his son and Shayera knowing the exact spots.

"Alright, alright...I give!"

"Just as I thought." Shayera chuckled "Lantern's a light weight.

"I'll deal with you later." John promised her as he sat up, Rex hugging him around the neck.

"Dad, can we open our presents now?"

"Hmm..." John pretended to be giving the prospect considerable thought, Rex's eyes growing huge as time dragged on.

"Please, daddy."

"I don't know..." John said cryptically "I guess you'll have to ask your mother."

Rex's eyes grew wider still as he turned his emerald orbs to the only other set of the same shade "Can we open them, mummy?"

Shayera folded her arms before smiling "Of course you can, but-"

Before she could finish her sentence both of them had charged out of the room, racing eagerly to the Christmas tree and the subsequent gifts that awaited them.

"-wait for us..." Shayera completed, shaking her head, typical that they'd just forget about her.

Just as the Thanagarian was starting to get up someone ran through the door and pounced on her, forcing her back against the mattress, one of her wings getting trapped awkwardly but she didn't mind.

"Hello, John."

He smiled at her lovingly "Hello..." He kissed her sweetly "Merry Christmas, Shayera."

She laughed softly "Merry Christmas, John." Kissing him back she didn't pull away, a few moments later however she did "Are you going to let me up so that our son can open his presents?"

John nuzzled her neck "Maybe."

"Well he's waiting."

John leant back and peeked over his shoulder, there standing in the doorway in his Superman pyjamas was Rex Stewart, his favourite bear in his hands.

"Alright, I'm coming." John laughed as he stood up, following his son into the next room "Get a move on, Sunshine."

Shayera rolled her eyes.

* * *

><p>The presents having been enthusiastically opened, Shayera was busy in the kitchen area preparing pancakes for breakfast, behind her Rex was playing with one of his new toys. Despite all the noise he was making she could still sense John approaching her. As expected a pair of arms encircled her and he rested his chin on her shoulder, glancing down into the mixing bowl.<p>

"About...the 'present' you gave him."

Shayera sighed, she could tell he had been summing up the courage to talk about it ever since it had been opened "What about it?"

"Don't you think he's a little young?"

"He is of age."

She felt John take a deep breath "But he's just six."

"He _is_ of age." She repeated firmly "I was the same age when I got mine."

John groaned in the back of his throat as he turned slightly to look at the box that had been put on the side after it had been opened, inside was a Thanagarian battle axe.

"How did you even get it?" John asked dubiously as Shayera cracked an egg against the bowl "Or don't I want to know?"

"Bruce helped me, Carter as well." She put the wisk down "Look I know it's..._inappropriate_ here to give a child a weapon but if he were on Thanagar-"

John silenced her with a finger to her lips "You don't have to explain, I was just...surprised, that's all."

"I know," She conceded "But...I want to train him how I was, how my people were...he's really the only line left...I want my heritage to continue."

"And it will, I promise...I'm just not sure about this axe."

"Why?"

He didn't know how to say it without offending her; he knew enough about Thanagarians to know that they were probably trained brutally, he'd seen the scars that she had picked up during that time of her life. Seeming to sense John's line of thought, Shayera spoke up.

"It's blunt."

"What?"

"I said its blunt...maybe I had to train with sharp and very real objects but I'm not about to let my son do the same."

She was sure the giddy laugh that escaped him was a heavy sigh of relief; it made her smile all the same before she continued with her task.

* * *

><p>"He's bluffing..." Shayera said softly into her son's ear "Don't let him fool you."<p>

John looked up at her "You're supposed to be helping not conspiring."

Rex grinned; currently he was sat on his Mother's lap opposite his Dad, a chess set sat between them. When he was younger he would always watch his parents play together, his Mum usually winning most of the games but his Dad never seemed to mind much. Sometimes when no one was looking he would try to play on his own, pushing the shaped pieces around the board trying to imitate the motions his parents made. One afternoon Shayera had caught him playing and decided to teach him how to play, sometimes he helped his Dad and other times he helped his Mum, but they always played together and he looked forward to it.

"I'm not conspiring, I'm teaching him strategy."

John concentrated on the board before moving a piece, leaning back to stack his hands behind his head as he waited for Rex and his mascot to make their move. He didn't dare call her a mascot out loud, last time he had made the comment he had gotten a rather hard punch in the arm.

Rex reached a hand out to grab one of the intricate pieces but he heard his mother speak in his ear so that John couldn't hear her. "Think about what you're doing Rex, look at where Daddy has put his pieces...see?"

Concentrating Rex re-examined the board before dubiously reaching for a different piece, having heard nothing from his mum he decided to go ahead with the move.

"Check mate in six moves." Shayera stated sending John a wink.

John smiled. Rex always liked to watch his parents; sometimes he noticed things that they did, the way they looked at each other sometimes, the way they talked.

"I was meant to say that." Rex mumbled, slightly put out that Shayera had stolen his thunder.

"Oh, sorry Rex..." She kissed him on top of his mop of black hair that contrasted with her red "I won't do it again."

He nodded and waited for his Dad to make a move.

Twenty minutes later and Rex had sealed his first chess victory. Pleased with himself he bounced up and down on the balls of his feet as he enthusiastically gave a recount of the game to his father.

"And then I moved the knight-" A yawn interrupted his narration.

"I think it's time for bed little guy," John said thinking aloud "You've had a long day."

"But I'm not sleepy," Rex protested "Besides Mum was going to teach me to...to-" He yawned again.

Shayera laughed "Come on Rex, bed time."

"Okay..."

"Have you got Freddie?"

"Yes." Rex responded as he waved his teddy bear in front of his mother's face to show that the little bear was present and accounted for.

"Good, now get comfortable."

In response Rex wriggled under the blankets until he was comfortable "I did good playing chess, didn't I?"

"You did," Shayera assured as she ran her fingers through her son's hair "But you need to get some sleep."

"Yeah..."

Shayera chuckled as she pulled the blankets over him to keep him warm and pressed a gentle kiss to his forehead "Goodnight Sweetie."

"G'night mum...love you."

"Love you too." Shayera confirmed as she tucked him in a final time and switched off the light, turning around she saw John in the doorway and she smiled. Both of them exited the room and dropped onto the couch, comfortably snuggled up together.

"He could barely keep his eyes open." Shayera said amused.

"It's been a long day...he loves that race track doesn't he?"

Shayera laughed "Yes, I can just tell that the two of you will be playing on that all day tomorrow."

John slipped his arm around her "Merry Christmas Shayera."

Turning slightly she looked at him "I remember when we slept on this couch almost every day for a week."

"My back remembers it too." John grimaced remembering the awful discomfort.

She smacked him playfully on the chest "I almost can't believe that we made it this far," She murmured softly "And Rex..." She sighed "He's just the most perfect thing I've ever done."

Laughing "John pulled her closer "Me too...and I told you it was worth the effort...imagine where we'd be if we hadn't kept with it."

"I don't think I want to know."

He kissed her "Well, one thing's for sure, it could never be as good as this."

* * *

><p>Shayera opened her eyes, her face resting on John's bare chest and his heart beating against her ear. Had she been dreaming? Shayera remembered Christmas with John but a few years in the future, a young Rex running around and all of them were so happy, so perfect.<p>

"Did you have a nice dream?" John mumbled as he rolled onto his side, huddling close to her and sliding his hands up along the length of her back, the skin warm and smooth.

She wondered if she had indicated that she was dreaming, it had been quite some time since she had dreamt of anything other than shards and fragments of painful memories and emotions. The Christmas with John and Rex had just been a dream, but it remained with her as hope and comfort that she and John were going to get through this, they were going to survive.

"Yes, I did."

John mumbled apparently satisfied with the answer but too tired to do anything about it, but had energy enough to move his hand to her hip and along her thigh as she curled a leg around him. "Go back to sleep _Myr'a_..."

"M'kay..."

Shayera smiled, yes...they were going to make it.


	12. And there was Comfort and Joy

**An/ Again I just want to thank everyone who has read and/or reviewed, and I hope you enjoy this final chapter :)**

Twelve Days of Comfort and Joy

Chapter Twelve

And there was Comfort and Joy

_On the first day of Christmas my true love sent to me,_

_Twelve drummers drumming,_

_Eleven Pipers Piping, _

_Ten Lords-a-Leaping,_

_Nine Ladies Dancing,_

_Eight Maids-a-Milking,_

_Seven Swans-a-Swimming,_

_Six Geese-a-Laying,_

_Five Gold Rings,_

_Four Calling Birds,_

_Three French Hens,_

_Two Turtle Doves,_

_And a Partridge in a Pear Tree. _

In the quiet apartment in the slight twilight, the blinds closed, not a single sound could be heard except for quiet breathing and gentle snores.

John smiled.

He gradually turned onto his side so that he could see her but nothing but her wings greeted him, soft delicate feathers shifting ever so gently as she slept, ruffling on occasions he supposed in response to her dreams. While he watched her, settled and content, calm and at peace...he remembered.

He remembered many things from their original misguided animosity towards one another all the way to this very moment, even the memories of Bashari sought to reaffirm something in his heart, something he had always known ever since their relationship crystallised all that time ago. She made him complete like no other, counterbalancing his hard military core and bringing out the softer parts of him, the playful parts. These were not the only things she could make him feel or do, she could make him blindingly angry, she could hurt him, overwhelm him, make him feel like the luckiest man in the universe or the most cursed upon, but right then at that very moment, he felt like he belonged to someone, that he was loved by someone. There was a bond between them, a deep soul encompassing bond that nothing could seem to break, proven over the last twelve days and the untold many that came before.

He wondered if that was how true love felt and he wondered if Shayera felt the same.

Without any real consideration John reached out and touched her wing, an instant ripple of movement flickering through the feathered appendage and a soft mumble being released from its owner. He continued to run his hand over the soft feathers, softer than any bird's he had ever touched, until she responded finally starting to wake.

"...John?"

"Morning Sunshine." Was his quiet reply.

Carefully she folded her wing closer to her body allowing herself to see over her shoulder as she turned to look at him, a smile easily forming on her lips.

"Morning," Shayera smiled a little wider before she started to turn over; wings momentarily pressed against the mattress as she moved to face him on her other side "Sleep well?" She asked, pressing herself against him and wrapping her arms around his neck in a cuddle.

"Yeah," John put his arms around her keeping her cool body against his, she always seemed to be a little cooler which he put down to her physiology, her body monitored body temperature different to a human's. "How about you?"

A soft contented sound was all he got from her in reply and he moved his head and kissed her jaw, not expecting her to tilt her face and capture his lips but he wouldn't complain.

He was happy, content...at peace.

Moving on instinct he shifted bringing her atop him, hands creeping up the smooth skin of her back and feeling like he could spend an eternity like this. Being with her, loving her, everything about her from her emerald eyes to her warm heart where there was a place just for him, even her faults...he loved all of her, as she was. Not Hawkgirl, not Lieutenant Hol, but Shayera Hol...always Shayera Hol.

Shayera parted from him, eyes looking down to search his and a hand moving across his cheek feeling the stubble under her fingers, feeling the curl of his ear, the lines from worry and anger and she smiled, safe, comforted. It had been a long time since she felt happy, genuinely and purely happy, and just as long since she felt loved by someone, that she mattered to someone and was important to them...not just a lost warrior searching for redemption, but someone that someone loved.

"Merry Christmas, John."

"Merry Christmas, Shayera," and he kissed her again, softly, sweetly. Savouring every second as if to make up for the last three years when he couldn't so much as touch her or even speak to her sometimes.

"Don't you want to open your Christmas Presents?" She teased as he pulled away.

"I thought I already had?"

Shaking her head a quiet sound of amusement escaped her "I meant the ones under the tree."

"Hmm..." The sound hummed against her skin as he pressed his lips to her neck "In a minute..."

"Well, we haven't got long...we're going up to the Watchtower remember?"

A groan was all he managed as he pulled away obviously having forgotten the prior engagement to join the other founders for Christmas day, a joint monitor duty so that every other Leaguer could spend the day with their families. It wasn't a sacrifice for the founders either for they too would be spending the day with theirs, each of them outcasts and sole survivors in almost every case the only family each other had.

"I remember," John confirmed and kissed her again knowing that he'd never get enough of it.

* * *

><p>Sitting on the floor of the apartment, Shayera and John were side by side as the former passed the latter a wrapped gift.<p>

"I wasn't sure what to get you..." Shayera explained dubiously as she gave the package to him "I hope you like it."

John smiled as his fingers started their attack on the wrapping paper "I didn't expect you to get me anything," He tore some of the paper away.

"Well, I know how everyone likes to buy presents so I gave it a go." Shayera shrugged.

Finally the paper was torn away and John found himself looking at a large bound book, surprised and not really sure what he was holding, he opened the book up. Inside were over a dozen photographs, all carefully arranged on the front sheet the book itself being a photo album. John's eyes wandered over the images, all snaps from various points in his childhood, fond memories being triggered in his mind's eye. Automatically he turned the page finding many more carefully picked images displayed before him. On the third page there were a couple of pictures that were taken before the invasion, one of the seven of them together and another of he and Shayera, the only one he couldn't bring himself to throw away.

"I...I don't know what to say." John murmured.

Shayera sat closer so that she too could look at the photos "You treasure memories John; I just bought you somewhere to keep them."

"Thank-you, Shayera." He said sincerely "Thank-you."

"You're welcome." Shayera smiled pleased that her first sincere attempt at buying a present had turned out better than expected.

John let out a small chuckle still looking at the pictures, more so the one of them both together. It was strange that he couldn't bring himself to throw it away after she had left, the one picture that had survived his pain induced clearance of every and any trace of her. The other pictures of them sitting on the sofa smiling up at the camera, snaps of them standing together, he had thrown them all out. This one though was different, the camera had been left unattended and forgotten about while he and Shayera continued to eat take out unbothered by the little device. It had while idle taken an unexpected photo of the pair, but it was natural and unplanned, the best part was that Shayera was laughing unaware of the device.

"Oh hey, I almost forgot." John exclaimed as he tore his eyes from the book and reached over to pick up a large box "I hope you like it."

Shayera smiled a little unsure, she wasn't accustomed to having things bought or given to her. The wrapping had been as she could see, carefully and laboriously done and she was almost afraid to unwrap it. Slowly though she tore the paper away to reveal another box which she opened, her curiosity beginning to stir. When the lid lifted and she saw the contents inside, she gasped.

"Oh John...it's beautiful." Reaching inside she removed a small intricate bird, wings flared proudly, a look of awe on her face.

"You like it?" John asked, obviously dubious.

"It's gorgeous...I've...I've never seen a set like this before. Where did you find it?"

John took out one of the pieces too "Just a little place I know...maybe when we get back later we can have a game?"

"I'd love to," She grinned at him broadly "Thank-you John."

"My pleasure."

* * *

><p>The orbiting Watchtower was eerily quiet but the seven people that found themselves alone within its confines were unfazed by the quiet, of course having grown accustomed to it years before. While every other leaguer was at home spending the holiday with their families, these seven people spent it together on a joint monitor duty, currently in the canteen. Decorated with streams of decorations and balloons as well as a Christmas tree to one side, the canteen served as a makeshift dining area with a number of tables pulled together to make room for their Christmas meal.<p>

Shayera sat with John, both comfortable and easy in each other's presence, something that hadn't been seen amongst the other founders ever since the former Hawkgirl's return. Clark sat at the head of the table the head of the family if never openly stated, Diana sitting on his left and Bruce on his right and although fully outfitted as the Batman, Bruce had for the time being removed his cowl. Beside him was Wally, unlike the others in civilian clothes but Shayera was certain that he had one of his Flash outfit rings with him, enabling the speedster to change into his uniform if need be. J'onn was opposite peacefully at ease, comfortable in his own skin.

The meal was loud and full of lively conversation, anything from last week's chaos to events that had passed in their earlier years together, many a story of Wally's common flirting, John's bossiness, Bruce always being busy, Shayera always too eager to hit something and Diana of course and her previous outrage at varying aspects of Man's world. When the meal was done the dishes were left to John and Shayera, Superman and Wonder Woman disappearing to handle an alert, Wally determined to keep the Bat away from Gotham and J'onn assisting in bringing out the plates.

Shayera with her hands in the water seemed quiet, much quieter than normal which John picked up on immediately and waited for J'onn to depart to gather more dishes before he asked about it.

"Hey...are you okay?"

"Yeah," She leaned into the bowl a little further before pulling out a soaking wet plate "Just thinking."

"Want to share?" He took the plate from her and started to dry it ready to be stacked with the others...most of them were Wally's.

"Well..." She laughed self depreciatively "I just...I missed this...just the seven of us, cooking and eating dinner. I missed how nice it was."

"_Is_, Shayera...it's still here." He took another plate from her "We all should make more effort to do things together; lately we've all been distant from each other."

She nodded while washing yet another plate "I never really had much of a family until..."

John remained silent as was his way when Shayera tried to tell him things.

"I didn't have much of a relationship with my parents and Thanagar was never a place for family get togethers...too busy fighting Gordanians." She paused contemplating "It's probably why I've never been very good with people."

"Well you have a family here, you always have."

"I know." She smiled at him and gave him another plate "After all these years I still can't believe how much Wally eats."

"Huh, you're telling me." John laughed and stacked the plate "Shayera?"

"Yes?"

"...With Christmas nearly over...well I was wondering if you'd like to stay with me a little longer, for New Year?"

Shayera paused for a while still scrubbing plates but she looked up at him brightly "I'd love to."

"Yeah?" John grinned.

She laughed too "Yeah...I'll just have to pick up a few things from my room to bring with me. The stuff at your apartment won't be enough."

"That's fine...why don't I finish up here then in that case?"

"Sure."

John watched Shayera dry her hands before she departed, a wing brushing against his arm. Behind him J'onn entered the room with the final plates.

"That is the rest of them." He informed as he placed them on the side, "Clark and Diana will be back shortly, they just checked in."

"They get on okay with that Earthquake?"

"Fine, it wasn't anything they couldn't handle."

"Of course." John smiled "Where's Bruce, he still here?"

"Yes. Wally is trying to encourage him to play Brawlin' Bots with him."

At that John had to laugh "I'll bet he's the only one that could do it too."

J'onn smiled "I believe so."

Shayera had been much longer than John had expected so he left J'onn with the very last dregs of washing up, on the Martian's insistence, and went to find her. As he passed down the corridor towards her quarters she came into view, holding a great many more bags than he would have thought were needed for a week.

"That's a lot for a week don't you think, Shayera?"

Shayera stopped and looked up, dropping the bags onto the floor "I..." She stared at him trying to form the words "I was thinking...I'd...just move in with you." When she saw the dumfounded expression on his face she wasn't sure what to think or say, maybe she'd sped things up a little too quickly but she had absolutely loved every single second of being with him over the holiday, she hadn't taken any of it for granted. "Um...Merry Christmas John..."

John stared at her for a full thirty seconds before he suddenly grinned, then laughed, then started walking towards her, speeding up the closer he got until his arms were around her, lifting her up and spinning her in a circle.

She laughed, holding his shoulders for security as he turned her laughing and smiling, warm and happy.

Along the corridor J'onn passed, he was on his way to investigate the vibes that he could sense coming from Bruce, he was sure that he was reaching the end of his tether with Wally. As he passed the two in the corridor he smiled at them and continued on, the happiness and joy radiating from the couple filling him up...even Shayera's shielded mind was projecting a strong sense of happiness.

It had been a long time since J'onn had sensed pure joy from either of them...not since those times all those years ago when they had first admitted their love for each other.

Because that was what it was.

_Joy_.

**An/ Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays everyone :)**


End file.
